Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Crying like an insane, hormonal pregnant person

It has been a hard day.
Yesterday was also hard.
Things that made me sob until my chest and face hurt include:
When I called Medicaid and they said they hadn't even looked at my paperwork since the LAST time I called, two weeks ago.

When I asked someone at Sunflower if they took WIC vouchers and he said yes, so I shopped for all my WIC items and then stood in line only to have some stupid girl stare at me like I was a monster and snap "We do NOT accept WIC."

When Travis came home from work late - again, and I hate his stupid job and I want him to quit because he's treated and paid so poorly despite being so awesome and working so hard.

Finding out one of my best friends was on her way to the hospital because she's very sick and might have to move back in with her parents. In Arizona. Where I will not get to see her.

When I was very hungry.

When I had to walk home from school instead of getting a ride and it was drizzling a little.

When my sister said, "I just want to hang out with you this weekend," and I felt guilty because I already invited other people to hang out with us.

Some of these seem like bigger things than others, because they are. But I seriously had several meltdowns.
This morning I skipped my first two classes to stay in bed and cry because I had very upsetting dreams about things like the prophet growing a mustache, my 13 year old brother stealing my sweet potato fries and my cousin Chelsea suggesting I drink grape soda with my morning oatmeal (lots of dreams about food lately).

Then I went in to work for two hours, but I cried or started yelling when people spoke to me.
So I am home skipping my last class of the day.
I am lying in bed reading a baby names book, eating pumpkin bread and occasionally crying at things that are completely non-important.
I'm a serious mess.

I want this week to end.


tammy said...

Sorry it had been rough but it should get better. I had a really hard time in the beginning of my pregnancy but usually the 2nd trimester is full of happiness, glowing and face stuffing. Don't be afraid to blurt out to people "I'm sorry but I'm pregnant and it's made me crazy". You have a great excuse to be a little crazy.

Polly said...

My brother Matt told me he dreamt that he was a BigFoot speaking at a Yeti convention in front of a room full of BigFoots. He was really excited about it and couldn't wait to get back to sleep for more insane dreams. Oh don't stress about Jack stealing sweet potato fries because he hates those and gets mad whenever I make them. You'll feel normal again in 6 months, or maybe never, hard to tell.

Becky said...

becky i hope our babies can be friends forever. congratulations, you pretty woman!

ps. let it all out. holding it in just makes things worse... kind of like when you have to poop.

suzie said...

today is the day of meltdowns! me too! actually mine was at 3 am, so maybe a little bit yesterday but also today. I'm sorry that you're having a hard time. From one sister having a hard time to another sister having a hard time, i'm sorry. but we will forever have compassion for other women who are feeling wildly hormonal because their bodies are somehow building tiny perfect humans out of chili cheese dogs and ramen noodels--that is the silver lining.

sienna said...

this does not sound fun. i am an easy cryer and being pregnant did not help, so i think i can relate. i also had very crazy, scary dreams when i was pregnant. i hope you feel better soon.

Marge Bjork said...

oh baby, i hate those days. hate hate, and I'm sure they're hyper-horrible in the first trimester. but i treasure when i can spend them in bed even if it means more work later.