Fact: it is Friday: Where I talk about myself. On Fridays.
Becky Fact 2: My family bases their love for you on how funny you are.
I don't talk about my babies, unless I want to, which sometimes I might. But mostly Fact: it is Friday is when I'm going to maybe tell you something you didn't know about me.
Or maybe a story from my bucktoothed-childhood or bratty teenage years.
That is true, because, you know - no lying on Fact Friday.
It's pretty simple. It goes like this:
I am funny so my parents love me.
My sister Mary is really funny. She's funnier than me. We write down the things Mary says in a book, and read them aloud as a family for a good laugh later. Naturally one would assume that my parents would love her more, except that Mary is also bossy and sometimes she's a super mean bully.
So my parents love she and I equally. (*whew for me*)
My sister Lisa is funny, and because she grew up in HK, her funniness surprises us. I don't mean that like there aren't funny people in HK. I mean, my family is all funny the same way. Lisa is sneaky funny. Lisa is goofy. Lisa is teasing. And it always takes us by surprise. So we love Lisa.
My brother Jack is sometimes funny, but MOSTLY he's obnoxious, because he's almost fourteen. Someday he'll be funny again and we can shower him with adoration.
But while he's still wearing sleeveless purple hoodies to look like Justin Beiber, and letting his friends draw on his body with a sharpie (unwittedly becoming the victim of balls around his eyes and a penis on his forehead) the day before a family wedding...
we can only find him obnoxious.
This makes Travis feel really sad, and every time we hang out with my family he's like "poor Jack. I feel so bad for Jack. Everyone's always like 'shut up, Jack, this is the most boring story ever.'"
But we used to love him. And we do a little still. And we will again in a year or two when he's not going through puberty.
My sister Kathryn is really funny. She's the funniest, and the cutest and smartest and nicest so obviously we love her the most. All of us do.
Even not-funny Jack.
The only exception to this rule that I have found is Travis.
Now Travis is funny. He makes me laugh until I cry until my face hurts. He makes me book it for the bathroom so I don't pee on the carpet because I'm laughing so hard. He makes me laugh until I have to lie down on the ground and just focus on breathing so I don't die. (Which is why I love him... among other reasons.)
But I don't think my family has really seen that side of him.
So their adoration is slightly befuddling. They LOVE Travis, but they don't think he's funny.
One night when I got up to use the bathroom Kathryn sneaked into my bed and whispered "It's me Travis, your wife Becky." (Yep. I'm pretty sure the five year old was trying to seduce my husband.)
And when I opened the door to come back in, she whispered "Oh crap." And disappeared into the blankets like they were quick sand.
And the rest of my family loves him too, but does not try to seduce him. (At least not when I'm around, but I haven't brought him home to meet my cousins yet...)
Anyway, here is a story to help you understand how important it is to my family that we be funny:
It was a dark and stormy night. Freshman Becky was taking her first Chemistry test at the testing center at college. (Bum bum buuuummm)
I left the test feeling pretty good. Pretty darn good.
And then I saw my score. 48%.
Forty-eight. FORTY EIGHT.
I read it like a bazillion times, checking and rechecking my student id, willing it to be wrong.
It was not.
I flunked that test big time.
I called my mom in tears, sobbing about how I wasn't cut out for college and I thought I did so well, and how could I have possibly gotten a 48%!?
Her response, "It's okay, Becky. At least you're funny."
"*sniff sniff* Yeah. I am."
"I bet you're funnier than all your roommates! I bet you're the funniest girl in your ward."
"You don't have to be good at Chemistry. You're so funny, and that's more important."
Yep. Being funny is more important than Chemistry.
I learned that lesson all too well, because from then on every time I failed a test I was like "At least I'm funny. Being funny is more important than this dumb French class."
Which is also maybe why I don't feel bad being a college drop-out.
Look at Demetri Martin! He dropped out of law school to be a comedian.
And if I sometimes write mean things on my blog, but which are funny and people call me and are like "we're upset that you wrote this," I always find myself thinking "What are you talking about? That was funny. I just wrote it to be funny. Didn't you think it was funny?"
And so I'm sorry. I just want to be funny. It's pretty much my only goal in life.
(Among other, more important goals, of course like being rich and having a fancy car.)
And my family will not be mad at this post. Because it's true.
And because I sent it to them first to make them okay it and the only request each of them had?
Try to tell more stories about them being funny, specifically, please.
* * *
Fact: it is Friday.
Fact: it is Friday.
I think you should do it too.
And here are your instructions (not really rules...):
1. Write a fact about yourself.
3. It can be long or short, detailed or not.
4. Don't write about your kids. (Unless you want to. Because, I mean... it's your blog. I can't stop you from writing about your kids.)
5. Link up to this blog, so we can all read some facts, and not feel bad that we dropped out of school to be stay-at-home moms. (Since if we're reading facts, then we are still learning.)
6. You're not a dropout like me? Or a stay at home mom? No biggie. You can still play.
Can't think of what to write? Start like this:
Fact: When I was a kid I was really good at...
Fact: My biggest pet peeve is...
Fact: I have a third nipple.
I haven't quite figured out a link list yet, so just post in the comments if you participate!
Fact: I would love it if you voted for me by clicking below: