Friday, August 19, 2011

Fact: it is Friday. {boyfriends and soulmates}


FFact: it is Friday: Where I talk about myself. On Fridays. I don't talk about my babies, unless I want to, which sometimes I might. But mostly Fact: it is Friday is when I'm going to tell you something you maybe didn't know about me. Or perhaps a story from my bucktoothed-childhood or bratty teenage years.

Becky Fact 8: I had a high school boyfriend name his guitar after another girl. While we were dating. 

I wanted to talk about past romances a bit.
Which is kind of weird and hard, because nearly every boy I've ever dated has family members or friends who read this blog... I guess maybe I stuck too close to home in the dating sphere.
I have lots of slightly mortifying facts about boys (pretty sure all us girls do) and had a hard time deciding which to start with.
How's this one?
Fact: The first boy who ever tried to kiss me came at me with his tongue practically out.
or
Fact: Before Junior Prom, my date told me he liked me. I said that I didn't feel the same way. He didn't want to take me to prom anymore, but I made him. And he spent the whole evening being super mean to me.
or
Fact: Once a boy saw my picture on facebook, and called our only mutual friend to see if she'd set us up on a date. And she did. Ten months, I married that boy.

The reason that I'm writing this post is because an old high school boyfriend is moving in down the street from me, and living with several mutual friends. I know that I will see him around.
I've pretty much managed to avoid ever seeing past boyfriends, but now that I know I will see him - I've been trying to decide if I think it will be awkward at all. (I know at least a dozen people reading this know who I'm talking about, and the boyfriend himself may read this. So I will try not to be weird.)

Anyway, I've decided it won't be awkward. And here's why:
Enough has changed in the last five years.

Travis was not the first boy I kissed. He was not the first boy I said "I love you," to.
And he kissed a fair amount of girls before he ever met me (and I will kill those girls). He said "I love you" to other girls, and he even started thinking about marriage to other girls.

But then we met. And we realized something.
We are soul mates.

I didn't used to believe in soul mates. Because it doesn't make sense.
I believe that God gives us the ability to make our own decisions, including the decision of who to marry.
So what if someone accidently marries someone who isn't their soul mate? They may be happy.
But what about the soulmate?
Or what if a couple is happily married and then one dies, and the other gets remarried?
Surely that wasn't in the works from the start, right?

But whatever happens in other relationships, I know what happened in mine. Travis and I were, 100%, made for each other. He is not perfect.
But he is perfect for me.

And he would never name his guitar after another girl. And he would never kiss me with tongue if it grossed me out. And he would never be mean to me or decide not to take me to the prom. (Although to be fair, I would not tell him that I don't have feelings for him.)

When I told other boys that I loved them, I meant it.
I did. I loved them.
But I ache for Travis. I long for him. I literally want to spend every single second of this life and the life to come, with Travis. I hate when he is out of town (like he is now.)
I know some people want "alone time" or "girl time."
And I want those things if Travis is included. I seriously ask him to pull up a chair and sit with me while I'm in the tub.
To be quite honest (no offense to my dear friends), I think the only reason that I need friends is for when Travis can't be with me. If he could be here all the time, then I wouldn't even need to speak to anyone else.
I am pretty content with his company.

People warned us about how hard the first year of marriage would be. They said that it was hard getting used to living with another person. And I know things probably get harder as years go by, but we never had that problem.
Who cares if his underwear are on the floor, or he leaves the cap off the toothpaste, or takes a 45 minute shower? Suddenly we didn't have to say goodnight at the door. Nothing else really mattered.

And that's why it doesn't matter if we see my old boyfriends.
Because, no matter how much I meant it at the time, and no matter how much I thought I wanted to spend time with them, it wasn't even the tiniest sliver of a fraction of my feelings towards my soulmate Travis.

But I am still a bit miffed about that guitar thing.
I mean, come on. Was I that bad a girl friend?


  




*       *        *
Fact: it is Friday. 
I think you should do it too. 
And here are your instructions (not really rules...):

1. Write a fact about yourself.
2. Elaborate.
3. It can be long or short, detailed or not.
4. Don't write about your kids. (Unless you want to. Because, I mean... it's your blog. I can't stop you from writing about your kids.)
5. Link up to this blog, so we can all read some facts, and not feel bad that we dropped out of school to be stay-at-home moms. (Since if we're reading facts, then we are still learning.)
6. You're not a dropout like me? Or a stay at home mom? No biggie. You can still play.

Can't think of what to write? Start like this:
Fact: When I was a kid I was really good at...
or
Fact: My biggest pet peeve is...
or
Fact: I have a third nipple.
Etc.


Fact: I would love it if you voted for me by clicking below:
Click To Vote For Us @ Top Baby Blogs Directory!

10 comments:

Camille Spencer said...

I think Travis and I are soulmate siblings. I think you had twin boys so there would be more Travis' in the world. I never heard if Travis named his guitars or not. And I'm pretty sure he isn't the kind of guy that would name his guitar after a girl. Maybe his surf board. Have you asked him about that?

kinseymahan said...

I feel the exact same way about my husband. I hate it when he's working and I'm home (like he is right now) and we honestly never get tired of each other. What's really cool is that both of us seem to have married guys that feel the same way about us.

Seth + Carlie said...

I love this post because I feel the same way! My husband and I kind of have opposite schedules now, but I love being with him, and didn't have any of the first year problems either!

Nana B said...

Becky, you absolutely can marry the wrong person, and sometimes if you are very lucky God saves your soul mate for later. I think you have also had some very good roll models, your parents,aunts and uncles grandparents. Grandpa and I have been married for almost 32 years and we still feel like newlyweds and it is wonderful. My wish for my children and grand children is to have the kind of marriage that we have and I think that so far so good.

Sarah said...

Fact: It is Friday is great. They are always so funny.

It's nice to know our husbands are perfect for us!

JessicaElyse said...

Becky,
When I got married, I found it so weird how girlfriends seemingly didn't matter anymore. No one can replace what my husband is in my life. Girlfriends that aren't married don't get that. I am glad you put it out there for the blogging world to understand.

mjlliving.blogspot.com

MARCIE said...

I love Camille's comment! Cute-cute-cute!

Alissa Moghtaderi said...

The only thing better than spending time with your soulmate is spending time with him while you're in the tub. Well, actually, there's something even better, which is splashing around in the tub with one of your two baby boys while your soulmate dries off the one who just got out. That's how we handle bathtime in the Moghtaderi house. :-)

Jessica Zincke said...

I would love the Shane dress for when I'm pregnant!

undomestic chica said...

I LOVE this! It's such a good description of true love....and your boys are adorable.