Wednesday, November 2, 2011

To my dream following husband, on his birthday

I grew up with a dad who did things. He owned his own company, and had a list of hobbies a mile high -real hobbies too. He fished, photographed, read, mountain biked, camped, skiied- and still does. A few years ago he went back to school and now he's graduating with a Pharmacy degree.
So I guess I never realized how strange and brave it is for a man to be like that. I just expected hardworking and dream following from my husband. And I have not been disappointed.
When Travis and I had two practically new babies (let's see, about four months old at the time?) we decided that the time was ripe for him to quit his well-paying, salaried, benefited corporate job which he actually quite liked.
And people would say "in this economy?" and we would hear stories of people who had been searching for jobs for months, years even.
But Travis wanted to form Good Line, his own company - despite the risks. And I wanted him to.
Because I would rather the business failed and we were poor, than Travis' dreams be stifled because of our fear of not succeeding.
Plus, I figured I owed it to him, since he let me get pregnant while we were both still in school - even though most people would agree that we're crazy for it.
And just like God blessed us with the double the babies we were hoping for, this time with Good Line, he blessed us with success.
You may have noticed that Travis travels. A lot.
It's because we're doing so well. I don't exactly want to brag... but yeah, I totally do.
Because Travis is Ah-May-ZING at what he does.
On a regular basis, people are like "Well my daughter / brother / self studied film in school, and couldn't get a job and now (s)he works as a manager at a Taco Bell, so your husband must be really, really lucky."
No he is not. Yes, we've been really blessed, but I don't think for one minute that any of this is luck.
It's hard work and him being freaking awesome at what he does. I always want to respond to people with "Well, Travis is talented. He is very good at what he does."
But since that seems to imply (perhaps not so subtly) that the daughter / brother / self is less talented, I try to refrain.
But that's the truth. Travis is good at what he does.  But more than that, Travis loves what he does, and he is so brave.  He is the provider in our family, and it's a huge risk to leap into the dark of unemployment and hope that somehow we keep on surviving. Thriving.
But he did it. And not because he's selfish and wanted to do his "own thing."
But because he is a good person. I believe that Travis was able to take the leap, because being happy and making a difference in world, and providing good examples and opportunities to our sons was more important to him than money.
We have several friends who we've heard make comments like "Well, my husband is going to be a lawyer / accountant / doctor / whatever because you can make a really good living and we don't want to be poor our whole lives."
And that's a pretty good goal. Not being poor.
But I think that being happy is a better one.
And I think that usually in the pursuit of happiness over money, one finds that they have enough of both.
But in the pursuit of money that will lead to happiness, one finds that they are always short on both.

I don't know. Maybe this post comes off sounding pretentious or judgmental, and I certainly don't want it to. I understand needing money. We all need money to live, and not everyone's dreams succeed.
But as for me and my husband, I just wanted to say how glad I am that he's a dreamer.
I am so glad that he wants something more, and he works for it. I'm so glad that we're happy. That we can support each other.
That he understands wanting and loving something. He understands daydreams and fantasies.
And when I describe our future home with chickens wandering around the grass, our sun-soaked living room, and the kids building a tree-fort in the back - he reminds me not to forget our bulldog Winston being chased around the yard by the twins, the garden full of ripe tomatoes, and the brick oven for baking homemade bread and pizza.
Which is why I love him. I love him so dearly and so madly and so fully, totally, completely.
And today is his birthday, which is one of the loveliest days of the year and I wish he was here with me.
I miss him. I am proud of him. I am grateful to him.

Happy Birthday, Travis. I love you.

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Lana said...

money isn't the only reason people become lawyers... plus, some people see responsibility differently others. wanting a stable job to be able to spend more time with family does not mean that you don't follow your dreams. :)

Betsy Hite Reddoch said...

My husband left his job to go back to school. For film. While I was pregnant. With twins. He is now just a few weeks away from shooting his thesis film, and he'll graduate with his masters this spring. Yay!

I think it's so cool that you support your husband's dreams so openly and unreservedly. That is something that does not come naturally or easily to me, but I'm being dragged along and learning to be a better wife and partner through this whole thing.

Your family is just so cute and great. Keep on living the dream!!

ps - does you husband want to give my husband a job? Just kidding. Sort of. We always have Taco Bell manager to fall back on ;)

Celia said...

This was beautiful, Becky. As someone who also married a dreamer, I could learn a few things from you. I just really appreciate your honesty and sincerity. You are amazing, and I love you. Travis is lucky to have you :)

Unknown said...

I LOVE this post! I cant tell you how it erks me (spelling?) when people say how "lucky" we are that we started a business and it is doing well in 'this economy'. Excuse me? Luck??? Hard work that is! I feel right there with ya. My favorite comment in 2008 when my husband and I decided to quit our jobs and start our business, before our wedding, before we had our feet on the ground? My accountant friend who said... "why not? it is a GREAT time to start a business" Less competition, more resources and people wanted to support local. I love that you guys went for it. You will not regret it one bit and THAT is what matters. Just make sure to start some retirement funding soon, that WILL help later ;) His videos are AMAZING and he is obviously very talented, good at what he does, has a gift and works hard. And you are an awesome partner to support, help and grow with him and the business. Congrats!

comparatively said...

You bring up such a good point here... well, a few, really. :)

My husband quit his job recently to go back to school, and people have given us the same sort of feedback - "Are you crazy, in this economy, etc." - but it is so important to not let your fears get in your way of your dreams.


brooke said...

loved this post. miss you beck!

Ana {Oh Simply Loving You!} said...

Happy Birthday, Travis!

This post shows just how honest you are! There is no other way to describe how awesome it is that your husband was able to follow his dreams.

My grandfather used to tell me that money wasn't everything in life. In fact, if I felt like I was actually "working" then that was not really my field. Instead, he said I should love what I do and not feel like I am working. I should enjoy life and love what I do.

Marge Bjork said...

He is very talented. Really, you both are very talented. I'm really excited for you guys