Friday, May 25, 2012

Essays on Motherhood - Guest post by Tammy

After Mother's day it seemed like everyone that I know had written a beautiful essay on motherhood, whether about their own mother or about themselves as a mother.
And I wanted to share some of them.
One of my favorite posts was by my friend Tammy. She is amazing. Check out her blog {HERE} and read the essay below to get a little taste of her style.
Also, I stole these pictures off of her Instagram without her consent, because I LOVE them and now you know what she and her children look like.

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Motherhood is a series of goodbyes.

I was watching Downton Abbey last night and over the baby monitor I heard my 3 year old Eva say, “Momma, come snuggle me.”  I pushed pause and went to her room and laid next to her in her bed.  She shimmied closer to me and played with me hair.  I stared at her sweet face and attempted to stop time.  It was a moment when I realized that someday very soon my sweet girl would not want to snuggle with me anymore.  Someday I am not going to be her sun, moon and stars.  Someday very soon I will be replaced by others.

This terrifies me to my bones.  What am I going to do when I am not the center of someone’s world? 

 I often read a poem by Mary Oliver which helps remind me what motherhood is and what I am expected to do.

“to live in this world 
you must be able  
to do three things  
to love what is mortal;  
to hold it  
against your bones 
knowing  your own life depends on it;  
and, when the time comes to let it go,  
to let it go”  
― Mary Oliver

I am trying very hard to be a good mom.  I am trying to teach my kids how to steer through this world and be independent people.  The thing that comes when you teach your kids how to be independent is independence and it can be like a knife in my heart.  Right now I get sad about not being able to help with  silly things like getting dressed, zipping up coats, using the bathroom but someday it will be bedtime,  reading books, and dare I say it...driving! 

That’s why I say motherhood is a series of goodbyes.  Kids are constantly changing and growing and you must be able to say goodbye to the sweet 3 year old and welcome the next sweet stage that comes.  It is terrifying how happy you can be and how sad you can be.  Motherhood is my sun, moon and stars and it will be for the rest of my life.  Right now I am holding my kids against my bones trying so hard to remember every second of these wonderful years and prepare for the time to let them go.  

I realize how blessed I am to have what I have and I realize how fragile life is and how things can change in an instant.  Motherhood can sure be terrifying but still I wouldn't give it up for anything.  Motherhood is worth all the worry, guilt, anxiety, fear, and regret.  It is the most rewarding thing I have ever experienced.  If you ever wonder what the purpose of life is then you should have kids and you will quickly find out.  Motherhood has taught me more about life and myself in these short 3 years then I will ever be able to teach my kids.  

I am so grateful to be able to be a mother.  I look forward to having a new baby and being a mother to a new person.  I am so happy.

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Please leave Tammy lots of nice comments!
I've been thinking about asking other women to write Essays on Motherhood for me. Your style. Your experience. Your life view.
If you've forgotten what the Essays on Motherhood are, please click {HERE}
If you're interested in submitting an essay to be shared on the blog, please email me a link to a blog post or just the text of what you'd like to share.
Thanks and happy Friday!

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Unknown said...

My only essays are on prospective motherhood and the journey through pregnancy (ours has been a scary one, full of ups and downs). But I love love love these posts. They HELP me in ways I didn't know I needed.

tammy said...

Thanks again. I am flattered and honored that you liked my essay and that you posted it on your blog. Today and this weekend I am dealing with sick kids with hand food and mouth so I get to comfort and snuggle all weekend and be quarantined.
And I was surprised to see my scary bathing suit picture. It looks so crazy! hahaha. Love.

tammy said...

I meant foot of course but food is pretty funny!