Monday, May 21, 2012

Missing

Travis is traveling. Ah, so what else is new? He left Friday morning and won't be back until Wednesday.
When he's gone I feel so... helpless. I can manage twins on my own. All day.
I can.
I do it every day while Travis is working, and only have him in the evenings.
And my in-laws have been taking very good care of me while he's away, and so have lots of good friends.

But it gets emotionally draining, too! I need him.
At least he's only in California and we have phones and skype, and texting pictures and videos.

But's it's not quite the same.
Our house is much cleaner when he's gone, because once the boys go to sleep, I have nothing to do for hours.
But we eat really poorly when he's gone. I don't have anyone to restrain the boys at dinnertime, so I can't really cook, and frankly, my kids like a big bowl of peas and rolls for dinner as much as anything. So we eat that.

So many little things fall by the way side.
Prayers with the boys are hard. Lately we've been trying to kneel down with them, but of course, it's pretty much impossible to do that with two boys and only one lap (they refuse to share my lap).
So I say a prayer, while standing over them, drinking their bottles, and it usually goes, "Please, please, please help them sleep through the night. Please keep Travis safe, well, and happy..." and then I cry because I miss him and am highly pathetic when he's gone.
He likes to say, "This is what you signed up for when you married me."
To be fair, I didn't think that I would have twins. Being left home alone with one baby is probably (maybe?) hard. (Okay, I'll be honest, one baby seems like a freaking piece of cake.)
But twins? Twins is hard.
Especially when you're missing a husband.

But at least I have really cute twins, who do adorable things like this:



 I don't know what I'd do if I was stuck with boring, ugly babies. :)

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3 comments:

Margaret said...

Never having had twins I can't say I know what it's like being alone with two toddlers. My imagination tells me it wd be very very hard. But as a mother of one toddler, I can vouch that it's NOT cake when you're home with just one little one without a husband or helper!

Bonnie said...

I agree with Margaret - I admire you for doing twins because when I'm at home with my one (okay, before I had my second), I was lonely and craving adult interaction and going out of my skin because I just couldn't read "Go, Dog, Go" one more time. You're super mom for doing twins on your own so much.

One Lucky Twinmum said...

I know how you feel. By boyfriend travels sometimes for work and I just feel "empty inside" when he is gone. It not always easy with twins ;) and I have soo much respect for single mom of twins.

x Nicky
http://oneluckytwinmum.blogspot.co.uk