Friday, September 14, 2012

A Brief Essay on Why I Hate Hobby Lobby:

Ready for a rant?
Here goes:
Oh my gosh. I hate Hobby Lobby. For some reason, I always go there first when crafting and I always regret it. It's a million times bigger than JoAnn's (my craft store of choice), but 1. Everyone there is snotty. 2. Despite being bigger, they seem to have nothing I need. 3. Half the store is filled with decorative scarecrows made of burlap, straw, and wood; and tin signs that say things like "Pardon the Mess, the Children are making MEMORIES." 4. Everything there costs a billion dollars.

Let's address these issues one at a time, shall we?
I went there looking for a few supplies for the quiet books, and stopped an employee after becoming totally lost and befuddled by the "patriotic nonsense" section. (Seriously. Like clocks with the founding father's faces on them, and other weird stuff.)
I said, "Can you help me find buckles of some kind?"
Employee: The only buckles we have are for fluerbreghtelley bracelets. Do you want those?
Me: *Confusion, because she definitely just said a made up word.* I'm sorry, I don't even know what those are. So maybe? Can you show me?
Employee: * Laughs hysterically - I'm not kidding* You don't know what fluerbreghtelley bracelets are?! Hahaha!
Then she leads me to a section of METAL RINGS, which are not buckles. Okay. Thanks a lot.

Then 15 minutes later, after wandering around confused, I grabbed a different employee. We had this conversation:
Becky: Do you know where I can find purse making supplies?
Employee 2: Nope. We don't have them. Maybe you can find them at Christmas time, since people make each other purse-gifts then.
{Let's not even dwell on that nonsense.}
Becky: Okay, well maybe you can suggest something else. I'm trying to make these little books for my kids with different activities on every page and I wanted them to use magnets on one to stick flowers or something to the page. Do you know where I could find something comprable?
Employee 2: *Stares at me like I'm an idiot for about 30 seconds. For real, people.* Can't you just use velcro, then?
Um. What? NO! You are the worst. Actually, what I really said was something like, "Okay, good idea." And then I ran to my car and drove to JoAnn Fabrics.

As addressed above. Here are some other things that they didn't have:
Colored Velcro, Snaps (except ONE KIND that I didn't want), Fabric that isn't ugly.

3. The store is filled with WEIRD STUFF.
Seriously weird. They have an entire section full of signs that you can hang in your laundry room. They say things like "Live, Laugh, Laundry" or "Do I look like your maid?!" or the We Can Do It lady, or pictures of puppies hanging from clothes lines in brightly colored underwear.
I am against all those things on principle because they are beyond tacky, and when they're thrown at me in huge amounts I start spinning in a circle and screaming like a crazy person.
And there are all those signs that say things like "Good Moms have sticky floors, messy kitchens, laundry piles, dirty ovens, and HAPPY KIDS."
I am SO annoyed by that sign. I see it everywhere and it always pisses me off.  If I have a clean house, does it mean that I am a bad mom? A neglectful mom? That my children are anal and unhappy?
Currently, I have a laundry pile and and a semi-messy kitchen. But my oven's pretty clean and so are my floors. And when I'm done ranting on this blog, I will fold my laundry and clean my kitchen.
And probably bake some delicious homemade cookies to boot! Sometimes I want to replace "Good Moms" with "Lazy Moms" out of anger, even though I know that's also not strictly true.
Sometimes my house is a pigsty and it's not because I'm lazy, it's because I have two toddlers. But generally speaking, it is possible to live in a clean home while still "living life" and being fun and awesome. There. That's all I have to say about that stupid sign that I hate. Here are other things that Hobby Lobby has that are weird:
SCARECROWS. They are everywhere. They have creepy smiles painted on to their wooden faces, that make it look like maybe their mouth was sewn on, but it wasn't, because they're made of wood. And they're all in patched flannel and burlap clothes. And they have orange triangles for noses.
Sure. JoAnn's is smaller, but I think that NOT having an army of creepy scarecrows is a plus, not a negative.

4. Everything at Hobby Lobby is so expensive! The only thing that I've found that is cheaper there is felt. Okay. I will give Hobby Lobby felt. They have more felt and it's 10cents less a sheet than JoAnn's. That's why I keep going to Hobby Lobby, even though I hate it.

That is the end of my rant.

Please leave a comment and tell me that you love me and agree with me about how much Hobby Lobby sucks.

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Yolo Momma said...

I find HL to be much like a Michael's , but with a fabric department. My rant about Joanns is the selection of fabric in fun and cute boys prints is imited (outside of nursery theme). I know there are more options online, but either the price isn't agreeable or I am too cheap to pay shipping. One idea I suggest for snaps is using the cloth diaper snaps? Just an idea I've had for another use for them.

HollyAdele said...


1. I love you.

2. I found your blog because a completely random person recommended it to me. And then I realized I knew you. You probably don't remember me. I liked in Bowen Hall with you, in the RA's apartment. Your roommate broke my blender.

3. You probably already have your quiet book patterns picked out, but if you're looking for more ideas, my friend Leslie Pelon has entire boards devoted to felt crafts.

4. But don't spend too much time on Pinterest because I really enjoy your blog posts. :)

Karen said...

I haven't visited in a while. I just survived my first year with my twin boys. Just HAD to share this story. While I was looking for DIY party decor supplies in Hobby Lobby an employee approached me, looked at my boys in the double stroller and asked "Are they supposed to be identical?" What the WHAT?!

Brittany said...

This made me laugh multiple times and I completely agree! You're hilarious and I'm excited to see you Tuesday. :)

Renn, Keira, and Isaac said...

I like Hobby Lobby

Unknown said...

Aw, this post makes me sad...I'm a Hobby Lobbaholic. I do appreciate Joann's as well.

Amy said...

I only ever go to the sewing & needlework sections of Hobby Lobby, the rest really is weird stuff. There is a lot less selection, but in my experience if they have what you want Hobby Lobby has been cheaper (plus you can print a 40% off coupon online)and you don't have to wait a half hour to get your fabric cut.

Jessica and colby said...

I couldn't stop laughing at this. You took the words right out of my mouth. Everytime someone tells me hobby lobby has it I let them know how horrible that place it. My sister worked there a short while and she quit since everyone was so grumpy. I hate that they don't take competitors coupons. I really hats that they don't have scanners and supposably the cashiers know what the sale price of every item in the store is. Also one time I came 20 minutes before closing and a worker blocked my path with a cart and said no one else was allowed in because they were closing.....

Jessica said...

I'm a Hobby Lobby junkie, but luckily Joann Fabrics is right next door here! They definitely each have their own pros and cons. Hobby Lobby has a great scrapbooking section. Joann Fabrics does not. And I love all the decor at Hobby Lobby. I could spend hours in there. I find it hard to find cute fabrics at either store. Your post does make me laugh though...those employees sound great. :)

Jocelyn said...

Oh my gosh, I loved this! It's so true. Luckily I've never run into mean Hobby Lobby people, but I've certainly run into clueless ones that sent me to the wrong section (three times in a row). And I completely agree with you about that "Good Moms" quote - it makes me feel guilty because my house is semi-clean. I know it's supposed to make people better about having messy houses, and that's great, but it makes me feel bad about having a relatively clean one. Oh well. ;)

Claire said...


gillian claire said...

oh my gosh, when i saw the title of this post i almost died. i also have a hatred for hobby lobby! when i was 9 months pregnant with my second baby, i was at hobby lobby and started having really horrible pain, dizziness, etc. i decided to sit down in one of the aisles and gave my 3 year old a few animal toys from the shelf to play with in the cart. i then had an angry old lady employee harass me for it! rahr, still makes me mad today!

Angela said...

I love Hobby Lobby, but there isn't one in my city, so unless I want to drive 30 minutes to visit one, I stick to Joann's, Michael's, and AC Moore.

P.S. My Joann's has creepy scarecrows and stupid sayings signs, too.

Sarah @OMGTheresThree said...

So glad I'm not the only one that hates Hobby Lobby. I haven't had a hateful employee issue, but everyone is pretty clueless. I wish our JoAnn's was closer....or maybe not. I already drop too much money on crafting stuff.

Rachel said...

This is splendid. I have only been there a handful of times, but I have never had a good experience. Last time I was there I was about seven months pregnant and another customer stopped me to touch my belly, tell me about her cats, and ask me what crafts I was making for the baby. I booked it to buy my stuff and there was a huge line with one person checking. I decided it wasn't worth it and left without buying anything.

Scott and Nancy said...

Hello. I found your blog through another person's blog who I found through another person's blog....anyway, I like your blog. I also wanted to say that I actually like Hobby Lobby but I totally get and respect your reasons for not-liking Hobby Lobby!
I love Flamingos, and Hobby Lobby, to this day, is STILL the only place that has a section devoted to Flamingos.
Also, Hobby Lobby has a killer yarn section. I love to crochet, so you can see how that works out.
But I also agree about the tiny craft things. If you need velcro, tape, whatever...JoAnn's, definitely!
Lastly, Hobby Lobby is like the Walmart of craft stores, and JoAnn's is that hometown, feel-good grocery store where things are personalized just for YOU.
Thanks for sharing!