Wednesday, April 3, 2013

I'm offended by you, because being offended makes me happy.

I feel like we live in the age of the offended. 
Every single day, my Facebook feed is filled to the brim with people who are offended. They are offended by a picture, an article, a status that someone posted.
They fill their comment boxes with long sermons about godliness, or cuss-filled accusations, or (even worse, for reals.) accusations that anyone who disagrees with them is a freedom snatching bigot.

Seriously people. Calm down. Ug.
But we can't just be offended by the things our friends and acquaintances write, and we can't just be quietly offended in our our homes. We need to be offended by everything and post more articles and pictures of things that offend us.
Yesterday a friend posted an article about how women should be offended if someone pays them a compliment on anything that could be considered "feminine." So if they compliment your cooking or kindness, TAKE OFFENSE, BECAUSE THEY ARE A SEXIST A-HOLE.

(You probably are not actually good at cooking, and if you are a lady who is good at cooking, it 1. is only because you're a lady, and 2. should be overshadowed by your scientist awards so people don't make the mistake of complimenting you it.)

Moms are offended by other moms who do or do not breastfeed, have natural birth, deny their children store-bought fruit snacks, and everything else that makes NO SENSE to be offended about.

Then, there's the whole gay marriage thing that's happening right now. And no, I'm not referring to the fight to get same-sex marriage legalized. I'm talking about the never-freaking-ceasing-fight of the offended.
As far as I can tell, there are only two schools of thought on Gay Marriage.
There are the people who believe for religious reasons that Gay Marriage shouldn't be legalized, then there is every one else, and everyone else obviously believes it should pass - because equality and whatever.

Yes. I am downgrading "rights, freedom, and equality" to "equality and whatever." That's how sick I am of all this nonsense.

Listen, anti-Gay Marriage people: You know you can't win this one with words, because even if you say something very sensible like, "I believe that Marriage between a man and woman is ordained of God," your words will get twisted. Your friends will tell you that you are a bigot. You will be accused of blindly following the "rules" of your religion, even if you spent months and years working out your feelings. You will be downgraded from a person of standards and faith to a "hater." So fight it out in the voting booth, even though you know that you will eventually lose this one.

Listen, pro-Gay Marriage people: You also can't win this one with words, because no matter what you say, no matter how offended you are - people are going to take their religious beliefs over your beliefs.  I know. Who are those Bible-banging bigots to say that your love is less valid? Obviously, everyone deserves to have the same rights, privileges, and happiness regardless of their sexual orientation. Anything less is on-par with racism, sexism, and all the other bad-isms out there. We all know that if gays get married, it won't really effect straight couples ability to have happy marriages, and seriously? look at what straight people are doing with their marriages anyway! 50% divorce rate?!

But for real, if you are an asshole on my facebook feed, I will probably delete you. Stop being such assholes. That's not the way to win this. In fact, we all already know that you're going to win this one. So how about you go have your own little party and celebrate and stop spending time and effort making up new memes about what bigots the Mormons are.

Attention everyone who read this post and was offended:  I know it, man. I'm the worst. You're offended. You disagree with me. You think that I got those last paragraphs about offended pro-gay marriage or offended pro-traditional marriage all wrong. Oh, and remember that part at the beginning about feminism? If I like to be complimented on my cooking, I am "what's wrong with the world."

I cannot even begin to describe how little that upsets and offends me. I am not easily offended, you see.
Please. IT IS UNNECESSARY for you to comment and correct me.

Okay. Sometimes I get offended. I am offended when people have the gall to think that my opinion is less valid than theirs just because it's different. I am not offended by people having other opinions. If we all had the same opinion, life would seriously be the worst.
And there would be lawlessness, because the only way for absolutely everything to be alright, is for there to be no laws. (I'm not saying that Gay-marriage is lawlessness. Seriously. I did not express a personal opinion concerning the matter, did I? No. I did not. Stop being offended you guys. It's the worst ever.)

All I'm saying, in this long post is: shut up. Stop being the worst. If you have an opinion, you are welcome to it. If your old racist grandma feels differently, it doesn't mean that she's a bad person. (Okay, racism is pretty bad.) But regardless.
She has the right to that opinion without getting back-talk from you young hoodlums.

And if you just stop being offended, but instead allow yourself to happily and privately have your own opinion, and let other's have theirs: You will stop being so angry with everyone. And you will be happy.
I know this, because I am pretty happy. Except right now, when I indulged in being offended. Because right now, I'm all a dither. (That's sexist.)

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The Jacksons said...

I completely agree with you! When I was in college, we took an "are you easily offended" test. We all had to stand on a line, listen to a phrase and decide if it offended us. If it did, we took a step back. If it didn't, we stayed put. Literally, I think I took one step back. In a room full of women only a few of us were near the line! I was amazed at how ridiculously some people responded to the phrases. Come on people! Lighten up!!

Betsy Hite Reddoch said...

Your post made me think of this:

That above link brought me a lot of joy.

collette charles said...

Thank you. I completely agree.

Jocelyn said...

Yes! This reminded me of the website It's a place where people post things their obs/midwives/other docs have said. And yes, sometimes they're absolutely ridiculous and shocking to think that a medical professional said them. But other times, the quotes are nearly harmless unless the person was LOOKING to be offended. It's like, really? That offended you so much that you had to go post it on the internet?

Anyway, I was thinking about this lately, and it's nice to see you address it. It'd be nice if everyone gave each other the benefit of the doubt.

tammy said...

I agree with all of this. It is the main reason I don't really do facebook anymore. I am sick of the offended plus I am sick of the competition. Seriously to me facebook is just one big high school. I love instagram because so far I have not been offended and for the most part it is people just posting about things they love or love doing etc. I have a great instagram feed.

Angela said...

Thank you!!!

P.S. Your use of a-hole is the only thing I don't agree with...even if those people are a-holes...

Elizabeth said...

This is precisely why I never post anything about political stuff on FB because no matter what I say someone wants to start an argument. I don't get offended easily either and people that do are just wasting so much life and energy on being offended.

Boni Lady said...

Hear Hear! So true! I love this post and am sharing it!!

"Can't we all get along?" Nope, evidently not because we're all too busy being offended by each others existence! UGH... life is too short to be constantly taking offense! Great post!!

The Mathews Family said...

Bravo! *stands up to clap*

This post just made my day. I laughed throughout! It's all truth, and I love the way you addressed it. Someone needed to say it! "Hey Emperor, but you're not wearing any clothes..."

Such a great read!


P.S. I appreciate a well placed a-hole every now and again. Wait... that totally reads wrong. Did NOT mean to offend. ;)

Kristen said...

Holy crap I love this. Thank you, and a-freaking-men!

Lana said...

I think you have a bad case of "wandering womb" and "hysteria". Geesh, you should go make a pie or something and sing a song, if you don't stop fussing you might break a nail. :) I love you.

Strong Clan said...

Love you. Not offended. Agree 100%. Thank you for the post and your honesty. And PS - you are a wonderful mom, woman, wife, friend, and your cooking is okay too.

Natalie and Jared said...

YESSSSS!!! I couldn't agree more. I totally shared this on facebook.

Kayleigh said...