Thursday, December 5, 2013

Conversations with Two-Year Olds

What are they laughing at? Oh. They were farting on each other and then delighting in my less than enthusiastic reaction. #keepingitreal

The boys have started arguing over everything. If we see a turquoise sign, and Micah says "A blue sign," Grey will say, "No. A green sign."
Within about 30 seconds they're screaming,
"BLUE!" "NO, GREEN!" back and forth.
But it's everything. We pull up to the house and Grey will say, "You stay in the car, Micah."
"No, I come in the house!"
"No, COME!"
All. Day. Every. Day.

But when they're not yelling, "MY MOM" "NO, MINE MOM!" they have some pretty cute conversations.

I especially love that they've started copying little phrases that I say, like "No problem," or "I'll check it out," or "Let me remember..."
They sound like goofy little grown-ups!

Micah: My Grey! My Grey! Where are you?! He's lost! Greeeeey!
Me: Micah, he's right here. Chill out!
Micah **Huge sigh of relief**: Oh, brother! Don't get lost from me again!

**Travis pours himself a glass of ginger ale**
Micah: What doing, Daddy?
Travis: Daddy needs a drink. Something a little stronger than you drink.
Micah: I drink milk.

Travis: Who's in this picture?
Grey: Grandpa Marcie!

Micah: I'm giving my baby a piggy back ride. Whoa! Hold on tight, baby! Here come ghosts, we gotta run! Shoot the ghosts, baby!

Me: Gross, are you eating that old sandwich from yesterday?
Grey: Yep!
Micah: I want some of that old sandwich, too!

Me: Did you have fun with grandma today?
Grey: Yes! And Uncle Jack and Katie!
Me: And who else did we see?
Grey: Hmm... Let me remember. Who was I talking to?

Me: Is there someone outside?
Micah: I'll check it out, Mom.

Me: What are you doing under there?
Micah: Probably not pooping in mine pants.

Me: Micah honey, just walk over here to me if you're sad.
Grey: Micah honey, come here. Just come to me, I love you. Just come here, honey brother, I love you.
**Huge sigh**  Mom, Micah honey not love me.
Me: He does, Grey. He's just needs some private time to lie there and cry, I guess.
Grey: Oh, my Micah. He so sad.

**At Target, Micah grabbed a roll of wrapping paper, and held it like a shotgun**
Micah: This is a gun, Mom! Can I shoot people?
Me: Excuse me?
Micah: Um. I will... only shoot... Monsters?
Me: That's right.
Micah: Not shoot people?
Me: Do not shoot people.
Micah: Here come the monsters, Mom! Run! Run from the monsters!
Me: No, I'm going to stand here and look at Christmas lights.
Micah: Okay. I'll protect you from monsters. Ca-pow! Ca-pow! I got that monster! Here comes one! Ca-pow! I saved you!

Me: Okay, Micah, let's get you some medicine.
Grey: I need some medicine too!
Me: You do not need this, you don't have a fever.
Grey: I'm sick! I need it, Mom, I'm sick!
Me: You're not sick. You don't get medicine.
Grey: Please! **Begins loud, fake coughing and gagging** Uh oh, Mom! Imma puke! I choking! I throwing up! I'm so sick, I need medicine!

**Micah pooped in his pull-up**
Grey: I see Micah's poop, Mom?
Me: No, I'm going to change it and throw it away.
Grey: Please! I want to see Micah's poop! I want to see!
Me: Well, you can stand there while I change him.
**I begin to change Micah and Grey starts gagging and dry-heaving**
Me: Alright, back it up! I don't need you to puke on your brother.
Grey: No! **Gag** Please, I wanna **Gag** see it!
Me: Grey! It's going to make you sick! Go stand by the wall, right now!
**Grey stands by the wall with his hand over his eyes, taking deep breaths**
Grey: So, Mom. Micah has some gross poop, huh?

Me: We are going to see our friend, Karrissa and she has a baby in her belly, too!
Grey: Wow! Just like me! And mine mom! **Pulls up his shirt and looks at his stomach**
What doing, Baby Sister? Oh! She sleeping. I can give her a kiss?
Me: I don't think you can reach your own stomach to kiss.
** Grey smacks his lips and blows kisses to his own stomach**

Micah: I'm putting on my backpack, but I won't go to school, Mom. I'll stay here with you.

Grey: Can I feel baby wiggling?
Me: Sure, you can try.
Grey: Oh! I'm tickling baby brother!
Me: Actually, you're really scratching me! Stop please, it hurts!
Grey: No! I'm gentle-scratching baby brother!

Grey: Run with me!
Me: No, thank you.
Grey: You just walk?
Me: Yep.
Grey: That's okay. I can just walk with you.

Grey **trying to recite a cheat code**:  Up, down, left, right! Spin around! Remember, Mom?

Grey: Look out! Poop!
Me: Good eye, thanks Grey.
Grey: It's horse poop.
Micah: It's puppy poop, I think.
Grey: But it on the road!
Micah: It's so small!

Micah: I use the vacuum, please?
Me: No. Why?
Micah: There's a ghost in my room! Imma vacuum it up and catch him!
(This child has not seen Ghost Busters.)

**Grey points to the space behind the toilet**
Grey: Is Uncle Jack back there?
Me: No, that's silly! Why would he be there?
Grey: That's his new home. He lives there, now.

Me: If you guys want Santa to bring you a present, you need to sit on his lap and tell him what you want, otherwise he won't know what to get you.
Grey: Mama do it?
Me: You want me to tell him?
Grey: Yeah. You sit with him.
Me: Nope. You have to sit on his lap and tell him what kind of toy you want, like a big boy. What kind of toy will you ask Santa for?
Grey: Maybe a blue one?
Me: Okay. Blue toy. Micah, what kind of toy do you want?
Micah: Probably a pink one.
Me: You kind of missed what I mean. What toy do you want for Christmas?
Micah: Oh. The Lion King one.

Me: What do you think we should name the baby Brother?
Micah: Patchy.
Me: Patchy?
Micah: Or just Baby Boy.
Me: Good call.
Micah: Thanks, Mom.

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Lana said...

Definitely Patchy. That's a good one.

HeidiLynn said...

I want these poss everyday they make me laugh so hard!

MARCIE said...

Hilarious! I'm all for Patchy!