Thursday, December 12, 2013

Conversations with Two-Year Olds

If you're thinking to yourself, "How often does Becky think she can take pictures of her boys in cozy sweaters and post them as though they were different?"
The answer is: at least once a day.
If you're wondering, "How often does she think I want to read semi-funny conversations with her children?"
The answer is: at least once a week.

Get used to it, folks. I've got something I like and I'm going to keep on sharing it.
Ahem. Here it is:

Micah: Go away!
Me: I'm not going away.
Micah: I'm building you an airplane.
Me: This is an airplane?
Micah: This is my very special airplane. Do. Not. Touch. my special airplane.
Me: Okay.
Micah: It's a puzzle airplane. It's hard to build it.
**Micah climbs into the center of the pillows and begins twisting and waving his hands**
Micah: Look at me, Mom! I'm driving the airplane and cooking eggs!
Me: At the same time?
Micah: Yes! Wow! Driving and cooking eggs!

Micah: You broke my cookie?
Grey: Yep!
Micah: Go to time out! Go. To. Time. Out. Now.
Me: Micah you are not the boss of your brother.
Micah: But Mom, he being SO NAUGHTY! He broke my cookie!

Me: Are you a pirate?
Micah: I am NOT a pirate.
Me: Oh, what are you?
Micah: I'm a boy!

Me: Grey are you causing trouble?
Grey: No, Mom! I'm a good boy!

Me: Let's have a dance party!
Micah: Okay, don't laugh at me.
Me: What?! I wouldn't laugh at you!
Micah: You watch me dance? You promise?
Me: I promise to watch you dance.
Micah: And you can't dance.
Me: We'll all dance together.
Micah: No. I dance and you watch me, and don't laugh. Promise!

Me: What is your name?
Micah: A little boy.
Me: No, your NAME.
Micah: I am me.
Me: Your name is Micah Pitcher.
Micah: I am NOT Micah Pitcher. I am me! A little boy!

Me: Heavenly Father wants us to be kind and good.
Grey: But Mom, I like to fight with Micah.
Me: Sometimes you have to be good, even if you don't want to be.
Grey: I like to fight, Mom! I WANT to fight! I want to!
Micah: Do not fight with me, Grey.

Micah: I'm falling! Save me!
Me: Honey, I'm doing dishes, so I can't play. Don't fall for real, I don't want you to get hurt.
Micah: But I want to fall and die!
Me: Please don't. I would be sad if you died.
Micah: Dying isn't sad, Mom! Dying is great!

Grey: I waked up happy from my nap!
Me: Oh, wonderful! I love when you are happy.
Grey: I guess it's 'cause I'm a big boy.

Me: What do you think of the pictures on your wall?
Micah: Oh, goodness!
Me: Oh goodness?
Micah: DO NOT SAY OH GOODNESS. I already said "Oh Goodness!"

Micah: Oh good! I'm buckled in! Now I am safe!

Me: Who's your best friend?
Micah: She's right there, Mom! Right there!
Elanor: My name is Elanor.
Micah: And you are my best friend. You are my best friend I ever had. You are my Elanor.

Grey: Dad! I choking! Dad! I choking! HEY, Travis! I CHOKING!

**Micah jumps and lands on my stomach**
Me: Oomph!
Micah: You alright, Mom? Your baby kicked you?

Grey: I need more milk.
Me: You don't need more milk, go to sleep.
Grey: Please! I need milk!
Me: Shhhh.
Me: Do you actually have to poop, or are you trying to get more milk?
Grey: I trying to get more milk.
Me: Then go back to bed.
Grey: No! WHY?!

Grey: I have green teeth, like a pirate!

Me: Look, come say hi to Santa!
Grey: Um. Mom? It's time to get going.

Micah: Mom, you look handsome!
Me: Thanks, Micah. You look pretty handsome, too.
Micah: I am pretty handsome, too.

Grey: I pooped in the toilet like Daddy!
Me: Yay! Good job, Grey!
Grey: I guess this means I'm a big boy like Daddy now.

Grey: Sing the temple!
Me: I love to see the temple,
Grey: NO! Sing it loud!
Grey: No, Mom. Like this! EEEEEEEEE!

Travis: I'm happy to help you if you don't whine.
Micah: But I want to whine!

Micah: Grey, you a ghost?
Grey: No.
Micah: You a puppy?
Grey: No.
Micah: You are chocolate?
Grey: No.
Micah: You are poop?
Grey: Hahaha, no! You are poop!
Micah: You are poop, Grey!
Grey: I not poop! You poop boy!

Micah: Mom, you are being too bossy!
Me: I am allowed to be bossy! I am the mom here.
Grey: No! You are NOT. I am the mom and YOU are the boy!

Me: Grey, are you being mean?
Grey: No! I'm a nice boy.
Me: Why is Elanor crying?
Grey: Because I pushed her.
Me: Why did you push her?
Grey: Because I LOVE her!

**Micah pokes me in the eye with soapy fingers**
Me: Ow! That hurt!
Micah: You okay?
Me: Yeah. But you poked me in the eye.
Micah: You poked youself in the eye?
Me: No. YOU poked me in the eye.
Micah: I did it? I poked you in you eye? I don't think so!

Micah: Wow, Mom! You are eating dinner really well.

Micah: Heavenly Father, Thank you for Riley, please bless Grey. Amen
(Riley is my in-law's dog.)

Micah: Heavenly Father, thank you for today. Amen.
Me: That's not enough. You need to say a longer prayer than that.
Micah: Okay. Please bless Mom and Dad. Um, thank you for Uncles. Bless Elanor. Thank you for milk and toys, Amen.

 Micah: Stop throwing the colors on the floor! You are making me feel sad!

**We anxiously wait in line for Santa, and when we get to him, Micah begins to cry and won't go anywhere near him.**
Me: Micah, You don't have to sit on his lap, but don't you want to go ask him for the Lion King?
Me: Grey, do you want to tell him?
Grey (from five feet away, mouthing the words- but not speaking): Santa! Lion King!

Grey: What you doing on your phone? Just nothing?

Vote For Us @ TopBaby Blogs! The Best Baby Blog Directory


Ashley said...

These are hilarious. You should ALWAYS post them.

marge said...

so so so so great

Carol said...

Micah on the left, Grey on the right? But then I thought, wait, Grey's hair that is sticking out of the hat isn't that long so that has to be Micah. When did Micah get taller than Grey. I saw them just last weekend! Whose who? I didn't think the hair really set them apart that much. Now this picture has really confused me and just when I have looked at baby pictures and totally have them pegged right. And I'm their Grandma! This can't happen.

Carol said...

Ok, I see more of Grey on the left in the picture on the left. Am I right? or maybe I'm left! It's in his smile but, man, I was confused for a minute. Please set me right, or left. haha

Becca said...

I adore these conversations you post!! They are HILARIOUS!!!