Friday, July 18, 2014

Conversations with Three-Year Olds

The boys were pretty panicked about being left on the floating dock. Obviously.

Conversations from over three weeks, since we've been so crazy lately and there have been five days when I didn't see my boys at all (Roadtrip with Daddy!) but there are still some gems in there.

Meeting so many new relatives this week, my kids were often asked, What's your name? Who are you? or Which boy are you?
Micah's response every time was "I'm Micah Dave Pitcher, I'm three."
And if I asked Grey to introduce himself by prompting, What's your name? Who are you? or Tell them your name.
He would glare at me defiantly and say, "You already know my name."
"Tell them," I would say.
"You tell them. You know it."
Touche, Grey. I certainly do.

Grey has also developed the habit of looking people up and down, possibly pinching their arms a little and announcing, "You're a little bit fat, aren't you?" Which is really cute when he says it in a baby voice to August, and really horrifying when he says it matter-of-factly to adult women.

Travis: When I get home, we'll go somewhere fun. Where do you want to go?
Grey: Grandma Polly's swimming pool!
Travis: Your grandma doesn't have a swimming pool.
Grey: She does! She bought a little one just for me!

Me: Your face is so dirty! What were you rubbing it on?
Micah: Dirt.

Micah: I got some pee on my shirt! Oh, never mind. It's just a little wet.

Grey: I love pretzels!
Grandma: Do you know who else loves pretzels? Your mom! She just stole one of mine. Do you want to bring her some more?
Grey: Hmm. No. She just had one.

Micah: A bug just went right in my penis.
Me: I don't think that really happened.
Micah: It did happen, Mom! It's true! A bug did it!

Grey: Do you want some of my chicken? It has sausage in it. Mmm, ham!

Micah: I got a fish, I got a fish! Oh my goodness gracious!

Micah: I got my life jacket. I got my penis buckle.

Grey: I got an idea. What is THAT on your face?
Chelsea: Makeup, do you want some?
Grey: Hmm. Maybe.
Micah: I do NOT.

Micah: You can't stop me! I have powers to squirt milk at you!

Grey: I got a crazy idea! I can call Grandma Marcie GREAT GRANDMA! Haha!

Micah: Get me some milk!
Grandma: What do I look like? The milk lady?
Micah: Yes. You are the milk lady and my mom is the milk lady and she makes milk. And grandpa is the milk Grandpa.

Micah: I'm building a house. What are you doing?
Grey: Nothing.
Micah: You're just doing nothing? That's dumb.

Travis: when we stop for lunch I will buy you a ball!
Micah: A blue big ball?
Travis: yeah if that's what you want
Micah: so I can HIT you in the face!

Micah: I'm not mad at you, I'm just stressed out.

Grey: Does August need to go to sleep?
Me: No. He wants his breakfast.
Grey: And his breakfast is made of all breast milk.

Micah: Oh my goodness, I LOVE HAM!

Me: Grey, your underwear are on backwards.
Grey: I want them backwards! But they do hurt me a little bit.

Micah: Poof, what do you need? Poof! What do you need?
Me: Are you the genie?
Micah: No. You are. Make me a prince!

Grandma: How many pieces of candy do you need?
Grey: Three and then six.

Micah: I will read you this digger book.
Elanor: No. Let's play ballet.
Me: I think you guys have conflicting interests. The boys don't care about ballet and you don't care about diggers.
Micah: I DO care about diggers, Mom! I DO care about diggers!

Sonja: You're like a circus act!
Hazel: I'm not a circus pot!
Grey: I'm not a chicken pot either!

Grey: Are you just shaving your face?
Me: No. I don't shave my face, only men do.
Grey: Sometimes you do.
Me: Nope. Girls don't shave their faces.
Grey: That's alright, Mom. Someday you can do it.

Micah: I'm a little bit big and a little bit little.

Grey: I can't how!
Me: You can do it. It makes me angry when you say you can't do things.
Grey: Why?
Me: You have strong legs and arms to move and a good brain for thinking.
Micah: And you have breasts for making milk.
Grey: My brain is all gone!
Me: If your brain was gone, you couldn't talk or think.
Micah: My brain is not gone. It's all filled up with gas so it can go and think and I can do lots of things.
Grey: Well, my brain is empty!

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Unknown said...

Your kids are always funny! Did you get rid of your facebook? I was just noticing that I no longer see your cute kids pop up in my feed!

Unknown said...

penis buckle.....bahahahahaha!!!! those boys must be very fascinated by your milk-making breasts and ham. those topics come up a lot. ;)