Conversations with Four-Year Olds

Micah: Look! I'm using the force! Aaaaaargh! Wow!
Me: Okay. Cool. You should use the force to actually do something, though.
Micah: I did. I picked up our car. Weren't you watching?

Me: Life is a highway!
Grey: NO! Life is not a highway. Don't say that!
Me: What is Life then?
Grey: Life is in people and cereal.

Micah: Where's my dad?
Grey: He's eating dinner.
Micah: No. He's eating poop.
Grey: NO! Don't say that. That is a lie.
Micah: That's not a lie, it's a funny joke!

Travis: We'll drive to Reno.
Micah: Is Reno in this world or outer space? Like, is it on the moon?

Grey: We need to follow directions.
Me: Directions to where?
Grey: You know, like on car seats or Legos.

Micah: Why are you wrecking that?
Me: I don't think he's wrecking it. I think he's working on it.
Grey: I am wrecking it.
Me: Oh! Well, what do I know?
Grey: You know nothing.
Micah: NOTHING, I say!

Me: I don't know where we are going.
Micah: Maybe to Claire Johnsons.
Me: Who is Claire Johnson?
Grey: He is a robot made of jellybeans.

Me: Please help me clean up.
Micah: I'm Superman and you are Superman's mom. Does Superman listen to his mom?
Me: ALWAYS.
Grey: I'm Batman and I always listen to my dead mom, who can talk somehow. Probably because she's a ghost.

Micah: I got an owie washing my hands.
Grey: That's crazy! Water can't hurt you, it's just made of soap and leaves and water.

**Listening to rap**
Micah: Is this Mr. Rhymes?
Travis: It's BUSTA Rhymes.
Micah: Hmm. I don't know.

Me: You need to go to sleep right now.
Grey: Then I'll go to sleep and dream about how you never let me DO ANYTHING.

Grey: I'm so angry, I'm going to walk away from home. I'll go on a long walk by myself and then, I'll just find my own way back.

Travis: Hey, August! No biting!
Grey: Oh, Dad. It's okay.  August is still learning.

Micah: Hey! This sucker has gum in it! Did you put it there for a surprise for me?

Grandpa: I have an extra vertebrae. Like an alien!
Micah: Aliens have heads on their butts. Your head is not on your butt, so you're not really an alien.

Micah: Mom, you're the favorite weirdo I love.

Me: Why do you think it's important to have a map or a compass in the wilderness?
Grey: It isn't important. You just need an iPhone.