Grey: This is a magic coat and if you put it inside it disappears to the outside. Does that make sense to you?
Micah: **blows raspberry**
Grey: Oh, good grief!
**Reading the poem "The Island" by A.A. Milne**
Me: And I'd say to myself as I looked so lazily down at the sea:
"There's nobody else in the world, and the world was made for me."
Grey: Is that what the poem really says?
Me: Yes, of course.
Grey: Why would he wish that?
Me: To be the only one in the world?
Micah: I never pretend that. I never like to be alone- I pretend to be with lots of people instead.
Grey: I don't think those are the real words in that poem. No one would like to be all alone on an island.
Travis: Good morning, what is your name?
Micah: Batman. And this is my wife.
Grey: Hello, I am Katie.
Travis: What is your job?
Micah: Killing bad guys.
Grey: No. Capturing them, not killing them.
Micah: Ah, yes. Capturing bad guys.
Grey: And my jobs are learning how to build diggers and cleaning the house with my mother.
Me: Look, I made a delicious breakfast cake for you this morning.
Grey: Uggh, what's all this oat-crap?
Micah: What does Santa eat?
Grey: Cookies and candy. He's so very fat and unhealthy.
Micah: He's also addicted to his pipe, which is terrible.
Grey: I'm addicted to Little Bear.
Micah: I'm not addicted. I just love it and think about it and I want to watch it all the time, even though I know it's bad for me.
Micah: Mom, I am your pet snake and you are a lumberjack that eats snakes. But you don't eat me, because I'm good and you love me.
Micah: Eat, Mama! Eat! No one wants a skinny mother!
Grey: I think you are a step-mother and not my real mother.
Me: Why do you think that?
Grey: Because I want to punch you, but I would never punch my real mother.
Me: Ow! There's something in my eye!
Grey: I think it is a mote.
Micah: Are we visitors here?
Travis: No. We live here.
Micah: So we are sleeper-overers.
Micah: Hmm, I gotta start dressing like a real pirate so that pirates won't capture me.
Me: What, honey?
Micah: Nothing, I'm just talking to myself.
Micah: Is that a present for me?
Me: No, I'm working on my Christmas quilt.
Micah: Ah. Well, your fabric is unusually nice. For Christmas fabric, I mean.
Grey: I found a knife. Isn't it GLORIOUS? Why are you laughing? Doesn't "glorious" mean "beautiful and awesome?"
Me: Yes, it does. I'm sorry I laughed.
Grey: Well, I think this knife IS glorious.
Micah: Mother, look! It's a CALAMITY! It was fantastic! The branches on the tree were holding up all the snow and they shifted and the SNOW CAME POURING DOWN.
Me: How is Leo?
Grey: I changed the snowman's name, actually.
Me: What did you name him?
Me: Oh! Why did you name him Grey?
Grey: I just think it's a much better name than Leo. I just love it.
Me: What did you think of the movie Elf?
Grey: It was SO FUNNY.
Me: Tell me what happened in it.
Grey: Well, the man was much bigger than the elves. And he put sugar into a pan and the elves said "You're bad at making toys! We are going to kill you!"
Me: Wait, what?
Grey: So he ran away to New York City.
Me: Okay. What happened in New York?
Grey: He found his father and he sang a song like this "I don't belong here, la la la!"
Me: Huh. This seems different than I remember. What does Buddy the elf like?
Me: Oh. What is he good at?
Grey: Reading and killing people.
Me: This doesn't seem like the movie I'm thinking of.
Grey: It's probably not.
Micah: I went to the bathroom.
Micah: and I have four corn-poops.
Me: Please be careful.
Grey: No! Be brave! If you fall, you fall.
Me: That's terrible hiking advice.
Grey: I don't think so.
Me: Listen to the trees talking in their sleep! What sort of dreams do you think they're having?
Grey: If I was a tree, I would dream that I grew up into the sky and all the way to outerspace.
Micah: If I was a tree, I would dream i was a bird.
Grey: I'm a snow animal!
Me: Would you be an Arctic fox or an Arctic wolf?
Grey: I would be a bird.
Me: What kind of bird?
Grey: A snowy Arctic owl!
Grey: Mama, I see someone smoking! He's ADDICTED to smoking!
Me: I think you're probably right.
Grey: I think I could say, "Excuse me, are you addicted to smoking?" and he would say, "Yes. I am. I tried it, once and I loved it. And now I don't love it, but I'm still addicted now."
Me: Stop squeezing the baby's head!
Grey: I'm not. I'm admiring his brain.
Me: No, you're squeezing.
Grey: Admiring! That means, I'm checking to see how smart he is. He's pretty smart, but not that smart- because he still makes some bad choices.
Me: Sounds like YOU'RE not that smart.
Grey: Hmm. I am.
August: Uh oh! Uh oh! No, puppy!
Me: Did the puppy get some food?
August: Oh no, AUGUST FOOD!
Grey: Mom, you are beginning to get old, I 'spect.
Me: What kind of sandwich do you want?
Me: I like that green building.
Grey: What green building?
Me: Why don't you look out your window and try to see it?
Micah: I know! Cactuses!
Micah: Whoa! That was some hiccup water! That's when you burp and the water inside you goes up and then down.
Me: In the morning, you can go out and look through your stockings, but please don't unwrap any presents until everyone is awake.
Micah: I will ponder that in my heart.
**Visiting the lights at Temple Square, and a life-size Nativity**
Me: When you look at this, I want you to notice how you feel inside. How do you feel in your heart?
Micah: Like I can be born again!
Grey: I can feel the spirit warming my heart!
Micah: It's not really so funny, but I usually laugh anyway, because I like to laugh.
Micah: Grandma Pitcher is really a very young grandma. Time has passed, but she hasn't gotten old! I guess that's because she was just a little baby at first.
Me: We are meeting friends at the park.
Grey: What are they like?
Me: There are boys who are twins like you, and a little baby girl the same age as August.
Grey: And what is the little woman's name?
Me: Um, the mom or the baby?
Grey: The baby, of course.
Grey: I'm officially exhausted!
Me: It's time to put monkeys to bed!
Grey: I'm a lion, not a monkey!
Grey: Welcome to my restaurant. It's a robot restaurant. And a human one. We have food here for people and machines. What would you like?
Micah: Well, I really want ice cream, but I don't think R2D2 can eat ice cream. So... Chicken nuggets please.
Grey: Okay! So. How do you like the Mega System?
Micah: It's pretty good.
Grey: Oh Mom, you have a tiny nipple on your face.
Me: Yeah, thats actually a zit. Sometimes grown-ups get them on their face.
Grey: You're right! I see a bunch!
I think Anne Shirley would be very disappointed that you laughed at a child trying to use big words. But then she'd be disappointed in me too because I laughed at all of these.
Oh the minds of these children! First they don't like skinny mothers, but they think Santa is fat and unhealthy. It's hard to win their approval! These are so cute. These funny boys!
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