Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Decisions and Advice concerning Bathtubs

There are lots of important decisions to make during pregnancy.
Here, for example, is a decision I make daily:

Yesterday I was very hungry I wanted and needed to eat ASAP.
But I was also very sore, and feeling grimy. I wanted to soak in a hot bath for an hour (or longer), and didn't want to wait to make and eat food.

I stood pondering what to do, and finally came to a decision that many of you have probably guessed.
I decided to eat in the tub.
Of course.

So, if you have important decisions like that to make, here is some advice:
Apples, cheese, and sticks of carrots or celery are perfect tub foods because if you drop them in the water your bath isn't instantly gross.
(and also, you can probably still eat them. What's a wet carrot, right?)

Some bad things to eat in the tub include:
Chicken salad sandwiches
Ice cream and milkshakes
Crunchy bread with lots of crumbs (or bread in general)

I have learned much during this pregnancy, especially about the bathtub since it's where I spend about half my time.
What's that? You want some other really helpful hints related to being pregnant and taking baths?

If you want to read a book a try reading in the bathtub. There's absolutely no chance that your stomach will get wet and it makes a nice little desk for anything you want to keep dry. Also, you could probably do some paperwork in there.

Do not shimmey down into the tub to get your hair wet. You will never get back up again, and if you're lying flat on your back in the tub it does not matter if there's a bar in there or not.
There's no way you can reach it to pull yourself up.
You'll be stuck until your husband comes home. Guaranteed.

Keeping the curtains and windows open to let in sunlight is awesome. Unless after your bath you rub olive oil on your stomach (to prevent stretch marks - which so far I highly recommend. As of yet I have no stretch marks on my stomach) and then you don't want to get dressed while it dries.
And you forget that your windows are open.
Or you REALLY need a drink from the kitchen.
And make a run for it.
And then remember that your Bishop lives above you.

AND, when you've reached the point where your little tiny bladder can't hold out for long periods of time (or during sneezing, crying or laughing) lying in bed naked while your after-bath olive oil dries- is also a terrible decision. Especially if it seems likely that someone or something will make you laugh.
Then you've wet the bed, haven't you?

Peeing in the tub, however, is no big.
Just kidding.
That's really, really gross. I have not peed in the tub in my memory.
Although I probably did it as a baby, but then it's okay.

It's also okay to wet your bed as a baby.
But probably not if you're an adult.
Like I clearly am.



breee said...

Love this!! You paint such clear images in my head!

Polly said...

your totally nuts! love you

Becky Pitcher said...

Yikes! I hope I'm not painting an image in your head of pregnant me in the bathtub.
Sorry about that.... :)

Nana B said...

you are so funny, and a little nuts, well maybe a lot nuts, but you are our nut and we love you.

Angie said...

Hahaha - I love your blog. I'm a friend of a friend and I'm not pregnant but I love reading your thoughts on being pregnant. Especially because I soon hope to be pregnant! :) Anyway I am commenting rather than lurking because I just found a fun twin-related thing you might enjoy taking a look at.

Jonathan Canlas is an amazing photographer and he sometimes photographs people's "Birth Stories". I don't know if I'd go for that myself, but whatever. He photographed a birth of twins and the photos are pretty cool and I thought you might enjoy (don't worry, they're not graphic in any way).

And then I found the couple's blog because I know you were looking for other twin mommy bloggers.

Enjoy! Maybe you can look at them while you're in the tub. Eating food.

Christa @ Little Us said...

omg you totally made me LOL!

Newest follower because you're obviously too funny for me NOT to follow