Monday, April 4, 2011
It's funny, too, because so far it's a lot like being newly married was.
Dozens of people, supposedly in our best interest, tried to prepare us for the worst.
It's hard, they said. It changes everything.
People told me to expect my relationship with Travis to change, that I would have difficulty adjusting to being with someone (or someones) else 24/7, that the first year is the hardest.
And obviously there are 11 more months before the first year is over, but so far... wrong again, people.
When Travis and I got married the only real change was that now we didn't have to go home to separate beds at night.
And we loved each other even more, but since we love each other a bit more every day - even that wasn't a change from how things were.
Now that the boys are here it feels like the only real change is that they live in our house instead of my womb.
I didn't feel an overwhelming jolt into motherhood, to be honest - there wasn't really even that moment most mothers speak of when they see their babies for the first time and their heart opens in a way they never thought possible.
Actually, that's not true.
I experienced that heart-opening months ago when I saw my boys for the first time on the ultrasound.
After they were born I loved them more than before, but (like my relationship with my husband) since I already loved them more every day that passed it didn't seem like any huge difference.
Of course I loved them.
They are my babies.
And sure, it's hard.
But not like people said it would be. The hard things could pretty much be summed up as follows:
1. I would like to sleep for 5 unbroken hours. Or 4. Heck, even 3 hours in a row.
But I can't.
2. My breasts are huge and uncomfortable and I still can't really lie on my stomach because they're too big.
3. I think I've become lactose intolerant since I started breastfeeding.
4. I feel confined to my room when my dad is here, since I don't want to breastfeed in front of him or my little brother.
I think it will get harder when my mom's not here, since I haven't had to cook or do laundry in the last month.
But adding laundry to that list doesn't seem too bad.
People keep saying that after the first 3 months it gets so much better.
Well, I can't wait. Because it's pretty freaking good as it is.