Monday, April 4, 2011

One Month

My babies were born exactly a month ago.

It's funny, too, because so far it's a lot like being newly married was.
Dozens of people, supposedly in our best interest, tried to prepare us for the worst.
It's hard, they said. It changes everything.
People told me to expect my relationship with Travis to change, that I would have difficulty adjusting to being with someone (or someones) else 24/7, that the first year is the hardest.

And obviously there are 11 more months before the first year is over, but so far... wrong again, people.

When Travis and I got married the only real change was that now we didn't have to go home to separate beds at night.
And we loved each other even more, but since we love each other a bit more every day - even that wasn't a change from how things were.
Now that the boys are here it feels like the only real change is that they live in our house instead of my womb.
I didn't feel an overwhelming jolt into motherhood, to be honest - there wasn't really even that moment most mothers speak of when they see their babies for the first time and their heart opens in a way they never thought possible.

Actually, that's not true.
I experienced that heart-opening months ago when I saw my boys for the first time on the ultrasound.
After they were born I loved them more than before, but (like my relationship with my husband) since I already loved them more every day that passed it didn't seem like any huge difference.
Of course I loved them.
They are my babies.

And sure, it's hard.
But not like people said it would be. The hard things could pretty much be summed up as follows:
1. I would like to sleep for 5 unbroken hours. Or 4. Heck, even 3 hours in a row.
But I can't.

2. My breasts are huge and uncomfortable and I still can't really lie on my stomach because they're too big.

3. I think I've become lactose intolerant since I started breastfeeding.

4. I feel confined to my room when my dad is here, since I don't want to breastfeed in front of him or my little brother.

I think it will get harder when my mom's not here, since I haven't had to cook or do laundry in the last month.
But adding laundry to that list doesn't seem too bad.

People keep saying that after the first 3 months it gets so much better.
Well, I can't wait. Because it's pretty freaking good as it is.



Lisa said...

attractive! lovelovelove

Nana B said...

I am so proud of you, and Travis, adding those boys to your family just added more love in your household. That's the way God planned it, yes it's hard work, but it is soooooo worth it. Stay happy and stay in God's care and all will be the best. Love you!!!

Emily said...

I feel the same way. About all of the above.
When Robert and I got married, people were always telling us how hard it was going to be and how---like you said---the first year would be the hardest, but it was awesome. We still laugh any time someone says marriage is hard. We ususally respond with "Maybe if you hate each other."

Having a baby was the same thing.
Alice fit into our life just the way she was supposed to. And I've loved the first three months. She can't move or run away yet.

I felt the same way about laying on my stomach, but it got better. And I loved dairy more when she was no advice there.

Anyways. Ending my novel. Your boys are beautiful. In the manliest way possible.

Jena said...

love all your positivity! I felt the same way about getting married, and now (as I'm about 9 weeks along) I feel the same way about the little babe growing inside me.

Mary said...

Are those the outfits you made, they look adorable. I hope mom doesn't leave you to soon. I will be there soon but am leaving on the 16th. Just a week of joy. I want lots of pictures for sure though :)

Paisleys Mom said...

LOVE your blog Becky! SERIOUSLY cant wait for your new posts! Found you when you were the guest blogger on Spearmint Baby, (yep, blogs are my new fave addiction)! I LOVE the name Grey, its funny as I am due in Oct with my 3rd and it's been on my baby list for quite some time now, never heard anyone else use it.. til now! How did you choose your baby names!?! They are too cute! Enjoy every minute, it goes by WAY too fast! XO

Boni Lady said...

I think with my twins, the first 4 months were pretty much a blur... but after that was better! My hubby and I had a great "sleep system" worked out that would allow us about 4 1/2-5 hours of sleep in a stretch of time (I'd pump & he'd bottle feed to let me sleep through a feeding). Even just one of those long naps made the day so much easier to manage! I am so happy for you and your little family! Keeping a happy/positive attitude is DEFINITELY what'll keep you going through the exhaustion! Best wishes & God bless!

TheHuntsAreRad said...

Just found your blog on spearmint baby... love it!

You are amazing... two babies... at once? I am 35 weeks with just one tiny babe and I sometimes feel like I may just pop!

Your babes are adorable, beyond.

Congratulations on your family.