Thursday, September 29, 2011

sharing

I'm trying to teach the boys to share.
Doesn't it seem a little soon to you? It seems soon to me.
All day long I am saying "Please don't, Grey, your brother is playing with that" or "No no, Micah, Grey had that toy first."
They're not even seven months old yet! But they know which toy they want, and they'll be damned if their brother or I try to stand in their way!
The most popular toy by far is a soft-covered little photo album with pictures of Travis' family in it.
I've been meaning to print out pictures of my family and buy a second little picture-book, but I haven't yet.
But now it seems like I'll have to!

Yesterday afternoon (just before naptime) the boys were fighting over the book.
Micah had the book first, so I tried to keep Grey entertained elsewhere, (but it was hard and he had a right little fit.)
 When Micah finally crawled away to look at other toys, Grey snatched the book up and sat happily opening it and closing it for several minutes.
Then Micah noticed that Grey had the book and came crawling back at full-speed.
I tried to let Grey keep the book and distract Micah, but Micah just screamed and reached for it. He pulled my hair, he arched his back and slammed into the floor, he had a little meltdown.
And finally I scooped him up and put him down for a nap.
Then Grey went down for a nap.

I felt like I was putting them in time-out.
(You can come out when you're willing to share.)
But seriously, isn't it soon for that?
They're already throwing little tantrums!

All moms have to teach their kids to share, but I guess moms of multiples probably have to teach their kids sooner than otherwise.  Any advice?
I have hidden the book for a short time, but I don't want to just take things away.
Neither do I want to buy two of everything! There must be another way.... right?

So moms, fess up. How do you teach your kids to share?
Especially when they're so little?

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9 comments:

Brittany said...

I want to know too because my girls have no concept of the idea. They solve their problems by slamming each other to the ground. Its....awesome.

Polly said...

Oh this reminds me of the old book I gave you about the twin princes that didn't want to share. Honestly they are too little to learn to share. So go buy another book and put my picture in it pronto! What about chubby little hard baby books do they like those too? It's awesome that they both want the same thing and they are aware of what their brother is up to. I think it's cute. hehe

Mama Mandolin said...

Good luck with that! My boys have no idea what that means. That's pretty much what 80% of the fights in our house are about, fighting over toys. Even if they both have one.

Right now they're too young to understand the true meaning of sharing but I try not to just take something away form one boy who just took it form the other, I feel like I'm telling them not to take but then I take. Usually we just change the subject and find something else to play with.

Some day they'll figure it out. And I'm sure it'll be a lot sooner than singleton kids since they'll be sharing forever!

Mama Mandolin said...

I forgot, when my boys have a temper tantrum, if it's because they're frustrated I try to talk to them. Sooner or later they'll be able to use words to communicate their frustration or anger but right now it's just tantrums.

If they're throwing a tantrum just because they're pissed, well I ignore it. They don't get picked up by mom or get preferential treatment when they scream and kick like a crazy. Usually they'll follow me around the house and scream at me wherever I am. Eventually we'll find something to distract them and they stop immediately. Like they weren't just screaming for 10 minutes. Light switch. It's crazy!

Angela said...

They're too young to actually "get it," but it's never too early to start talking to them about it. Babies understand more than we give them credit for, most of the time. One day, something will click and they WILL just "get it." At the age your boys are at, I started teaching the older boy that I used to nanny for about sharing since the younger boy was 4-5 months younger than him. When he hit 9-10 months, he understood sharing. He would give Max (the younger boy) toys...and then take them back after a few minutes. (He was only 9-10 months after all!) Like anything, when teaching babies/young kids, patience and constant reiteration is needed. :-)

xo,
A

The Spencers said...

I have to laugh!! Only because it's normal. I ended up buying 3 sets of things (not everything). It helped solve some of the problems. But you will find that they will start to get it. When my girls went to nursery they were the best sharers (is that a word) ever! So eventually they get it!

Bella Claybourne said...

While my son, our first, is much younger than your boys I don't have a lot of advice. All I can recommend is maybe trying ASL. Children are able to communicate their wants and needs physically before they can verbally. It might help since children as young as three months have been able to pick up on it. (Not the sharing concept, ASL. I have no clue when they learn to share. But it's just a thought.)

Sugardrive said...

we let them hash it out, unless they are hurting each other....i mean, we say things like "sharing means caring" and the like, but honestly, they don't get it.

Sarah said...

Sometimes letting them hash it out is better and sometimes it is necessary to intervene. My girls take things back and forth from one another all the time. I generally get involved when pushing and pulling hair comes into play... :) Getting another book might be a good idea but I will say, a friend of mine has twin boys and when my son was learning to walk she gave us one (of her two) walker toys bc it didn't matter if both of her boys had one they wanted what the other one had... (does that make sense??) Basically, there was NO point in having two bc the grass is always greener and such ;)

I think communicating about sharing now is wise... they understand WAY more than we give them credit for and they have be taught in order to learn :) It seems like you are doing a GREAT job!!!