Sunday, October 9, 2011

FAQs

These adorable pictures are unrelated to this post, except that they are of my kids:


I can pretty much have this conversation by myself, although I am forced to have it with several people a day. You know... librarians, grocers, random people that we pass on walks.
My side of the conversation goes like this:

Yep, they're twins.
They are our first (and second!) kids.
Identical.
Both boys.
Grey and Micah.
No, GREY, not Greg. Grey, like the color.
With an E
They're seven months.
Five weeks early.
Five pounds, and five and a half.
Just two and a half weeks in the hospital.
C-Section.
No, twins don't run in the family.
No, we weren't trying for twins.
Yep, a complete surprise.
BOTH my hands are full.
(A laugh, to humor them.)
Yes, they're very good boys.
Oh really, how old are the twins that your sister / neighbor / friend has?
How interesting.
Ah, well. They're getting tired, so I'd better get going.
Thanks. 

Here is the number one joke that we hear (literally, almost every day):
"Were they having a two-for-one special? A-huh-huh-huh!"
Good one, stranger.
I get it, because we're in Costco, right?
Or... um, at the grocery store.

It seems less funny at the park, but if you feel the need to say it then I guess you must say it. 

On a pretty regular basis people try to tell me that they're sorry for me, too.
Here's some advice: Don't apologize to people about their own children. Apologize for YOUR children, if they're causing trouble. Don't say "Twins? Man, I'm sorry."
We actually really like them. Good thing you didn't get them, huh?


Also, people like to take me by the shoulders, give me a little shake and say "Things. Will. Get. Better. They will. I promise."

Umm. Okay. Thanks? They're pretty good now. I mean, the boys sleep through the night. They hardly every cry. They laugh at all my jokes. 

They say "You are a zombie now, but soon you'll sleep."
"I'm okay now, actually," I say.
"No," they insist. "You are exhausted."
"Well, thanks for letting me know."

People are strange.
I mean, do you guys see twins in the store and make a bee-line for them? 
We have people cross the street to come get a better look at them, and use the two-for-one joke on us.
Like we've never heard it before.

Well we have. 
It's not that funny.

And give us a vote please! They reset the numbers! And I'd nearly cracked the top ten! What a bummer...

8 comments:

Brittany said...

Yep. We've gotten all of these. I've also gotten, "you guys must have been having fun if you got two kids out of the deal!" I'm pretty sure I had to scrape my jaw off the floor...

Betsy Hite Reddoch said...

Everyone says "double trouble!" to us about our twins. More like a double delight people. Also they like to tell me that I have my hands full. Don't we all? Everyone is busy, and lucky for me my boys are a handful of joy.

Sarah [Nurse Loves Farmer] said...

Love this post! I have a lot of friends and a SIL with twins and I can imagine what it would be like to be out with them in public! Very funny post!

Mama Mandolin said...

You're better than me, being polite and all. The first few months the attention was ok but now I just try not make eye contact with people. Or I just smile nicely and keep on walking. Except we had one guy like run to catch up with us once, that was a little creepy.

When we're out in public (all 4 of us) we split up into 2 umbrella strollers or I wear one boy in the ergo. They don't look so much like twins if they're not next to each other.

After awhile I just kind of appreciate the comments people make and try not to think about how dumb it may be. Thankful I have beautiful kids that people like to stare at lol.

Chris Spencer said...

My only question is: why with an 'E' and not an 'A'?

Becky Pitcher said...

Ah! We hear "double trouble" every day too! Why are these kids trouble?
And we spelled it with an E, because we think it looks better written out. Classier.

Claire said...

I am commenting to say that I continuously laughed out loud while reading this post. I'm glad you are such a happy family. And I loved your unrelated pictures of your children. So precious.

Courtney said...

People really don't think before speaking…while I laughed at your post, I also felt annoyed on your behalf. ;) Great post.