Tuesday, May 29, 2012

The terrible two

Sometimes, being a mother is sunshine and rainbows. And SOME DAYS IT IS NOT.
Today, my children have been replaced by evil, destructoid maniacs.
Usually when I have bad days, it is because my babies are constantly throwing tantrums. They're overly tired or hungry or sick.
But not today.
Today they were insane. This morning, Grey started opening the bathroom cupboards and pulling everything out. (Micah was there, too. But I KNOW Grey was the instigator. He's obsessed with those cupboards.) When I came around the corner and saw him, I shouted (loudly talked, really) "HEY! What are you doing?!"
In a panic, he slammed the cupboard doors shut. On his brother.
Who started screaming.
I picked up Micah to comfort him, while Grey headed for the kitchen. In the kitchen, Grey found that he could reach my half-eaten bowl of cereal and milk, which was on the table.
So down that came.

Then they spent a lot of time finding computers, cell phones, the iPad, etc and throwing them to the ground and then jumping on them.

Mind you, all this time, they're being giggly and adorable and laughing at each other and sharing pretty well. Like, "Wow, Look! I found this full glass of water. YOU have the honor of dumping it out!" Sharing.

So I put them in their beds. Whatever. Neglect. They can't escape.
After an hour of them screaming bloody murder (for the sake of screaming, not because they were the least bit upset) and laughing hysterically at each other, I went into their room.
Micah was 100% naked.
Both boys had thrown all the blankets, toys, pillows out of their beds and on to the floor.
Grey had broken the side of his crib. YES. That is the second crib that he has broken with his shaking.
And both of the babies were breaking off bits of the window blinds, which they can just barely reach, and throwing them to the floor.

I redressed Micah. Returned all the bedding to their cribs.
And I left them again.

This time they went to sleep. Miracle.

When they awoke, I put them in their high chairs for lunch. Grey immediately threw all of his food to the floor, laughing insanely while he did.
Micah shoved everything into his mouth (like a whole carrot and two chicken nuggets), and then insisted I let him out of his chair.
I was tired of both of them, so I let them down.

Micah walked out into the middle of the living room and spit out ALL of his food.
Grey grabbed a bunch of it and started shoving it behind the couch, and into the coin jar.
Then he started trying to grind it into the carpet underfoot.

When I snapped at him, he pretended to eat it. Seriously. Like, "Don't worry, Mom. I'm just eating this. Nothing naughty here."

I don't know how to scold them! If I snap or yell at them, put them in time-out, or even spank them (lightly) they just laugh hysterically. They think it's a huge joke.
They are DRIVING ME NUTS today. I keep just locking them in their cribs.
I don't know what else to do, and they're happy in there... haha, yikes.

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The Jacksons said...

As scary as this may sound, I lock myself in my bedroom and make myself unavailable to my daughter. She's just like your boys and laughs at all forms of punishment. But when I shut myself in my room, she goes hysterical. Like cries outside my bedroom door until i come out. It's the best punishment we've found.
Worth a shot?
Albeit, a scary shot?

Michelle said...

Hi Becky,
I have never commented but have been following your blog for a little while now. I have boy/girl twins and live in Australia. I can well relate to this post. Too funny. I remember cleaning up breakfast one morning to hear my two in my bathroom. Upon inspection they had striped off and were body sliding across the floor in shampoo that they had emptied all over the tiles. Off course they bolted when I found them. As I was cleaning up the whole bottle of shampoo I hear them moving chairs in the kitchen and by the time I got to them they had got in the fridge and thrown all the eggs at the kitchen cupboards. The day went from bad to worse and I had several more days just the same. Some were worse than others and I still shudder when I think about them. They were uncontrollable and they would gang up on me. But I still loved them to bits no matter how infuriating they were. They were playing a huge game. Keep smiling. That is the only advise I can give because I never did figure out how to handle it either. They do pass through it. But then of course they move onto something else you know. Blessings, Michelle

T said...

I only have one kid and he maxes me out on a daily basis so first of all, mad props girl. Some days are hard and even though it makes for a funny story (and helps to laugh about it later) it can really be a tough gig. It sounds like you're doing a great job and I hope you all have a better day tomorrow.

Polly said...

My advice is just to refocus them over and over. They are to little to be "punished" and won't understand it anyway. I don't believe in terrible two's but I do believe in terrible ones. When they have so much to say to you but just can't vocalize it and it's frustrating. At least Micah didn't poop when he was naked, that's when things really get fun. Remember when you told me you did't believe in child proofing a home kids just need to learn to live with stuff down low and not touch it? haha now you see why people put locks on their cupboards.

Unknown said...

This post literally made me laugh out loud all by myself reading this! Its so naughty, but also so funny! Definitely get cabinet locks! As for all the other stuff...well, good luck. ;)