Friday, March 29, 2013

Some Books are Perfect



This post has been a while in the making.  I think about this topic all the time, and am constantly evaluating books. "Is this novel perfect?" I ask. "On a scale of One to Peter Pan?"


Because there are a few perfect novels in the world. Truly perfect, I mean. Not flawless, but books written exactly the way they should be written. Books that are universally profound, books that are beautiful, books that are whole, uplifting, and enlightening. 

And I'll tell you of the perfect novels that I have read in my life, because I know that you are all very curious. 
They are Peter Pan, East of Eden, To Kill a Mockingbird, The Secret Garden, Winnie-The-Pooh, Anne of Green Gables, Holes, and Charlotte's Web.

There are many books that I love. I love some of them more than the above books, perhaps, but I don't think that they are quite perfect. For example, I have read the Harry Potter series more times than any adult in the world should read them. I adore them. I think they are gripping, hilarious, touching, profound, and unique.  But they are far from perfect. I will not dwell on their imperfections, but they're there. 
Other books that I think are beautiful and were so, so close to making the cut? A Wrinkle in Time. Alice's Adventure's in Wonderland. Little House on the Prairie. Tuck Everlasting. The Great Gatsby. Chronicles of Narnia. Many others. 
Those books are perfect to me. I could read them over and over again, but I don't think that they are quite as universally profound. Many people read them and think them strange, or find flaws with the characters, and (as with many books with sequels) they aren't quite whole. They aren't as circular and complete, as fit as those truly perfect books. 
Also, you may have noticed that most of the novels that I list as perfect are children's books. I think that almost always, children's books are better. There are few books written for adults that I feel any desire to reread (or at least, reread dozens of times) and not because of length. Because adults are flawed. Adults are so screwed up, confused, and depressing. Often, even if they try to do the right thing - they just can't. That can still create a perfect novel (Hellloooo, To Kill a Mockingbird. East of Eden.) but it's much harder. 
Truth and understanding is usually much simpler than we expect. 
What a book for adults can dance around, and try to explain vaguely and broadly is expressed by Pooh in a single conversation. 
Like this one (one of my favorites from the books):

"Tigger is all right really," said Piglet lazily.

"Of course he is," said Christopher Robin.
"Everybody is really," said Pooh. "That's what I think," said Pooh.
"But I don't suppose I'm right," he said.
"Of course you are," said Christopher Robin.


Children's book have a unique way of making simply everything clear, understandable, relatable. 
They are also blessed with the otherwise unachievable ability of including magical things that are not magic. The glory of springtime; of completely non-sexual love for a friend; of girls becoming women; of knowing you can do something - and then doing it. Those things are magical and beautiful. They are incomprehensible. They are so astounding, awesome, staggering, and amazing that the only way to describe them perfectly and give them the credit that is due, is through the eyes and understanding of children - who aren't yet jaded from years of springtime to have the gall to think spring is ordinary. 
Needless to say, I am a big believer in children's literature. I think every single one of you should go pick up one of the kids books that I've mentioned and read it today. 
Seriously, it won't take you long to read, and it will inspire and uplift your spirits. If you're my neighbor, I can lend one (or 50) to you. 

I want to talk about each of the eight novels above, but I won't. That's too long and too boring. So I will talk about half. My favorite half.

Peter Pan:
Do you want to know a secret about me? You totally do. It actually makes me nervous to write, because I know how silly this is. When I found out I was pregnant with the boys (before I knew it was twins), I was stupid with excitement. It was everything I wanted for myself and my life. A baby!
And then, a day or two after I found out - I had a breakdown. A total, flipping breakdown. Because if I was pregnant, if I was having children of my own, if I was a grownup - then I wasn't Peter. 
I was Wendy. 
Wendy grows up. She chooses to grow up. She rejoices in her age. Her motherhood. Her life. But some tugging heart-string always whispers to her about Peter.  About riding on the back of the wind, about playing house, and swimming in the lagoon. 
But Wendy grows up, and Peter doesn't. And that is why this book is perfect. Because, from the very first line in the book - you know. You know that Wendy grows up and Peter doesn't. You know the entire story, not just the story of this handful of children, but of all children of all time. 
All children, except one, grow up. 

And there's nothing you can do, and all the while - nothing you would really want to do - to change that. If Perfect things can be ranked, this book is The Most Perfect Book ever written. Everything else ties for second. 
If you have not read this book before, but only seen movies (or even the play!) they do not do it justice. Go get that book. (Alternately, sometimes it is titled "Peter and Wendy," FYI.)
(For more embarrassing stories about me being in love with Peter Pan, just ask my mom about Halloween, or my husband about our weeping-filled visit to his statue in Kensington Gardens.)

The Secret Garden:
This beautiful book is similar to Peter Pan, in that it tells the story of the whole world since the beginning of time, through the story of one little girl.
And the story it tells is one of life. A little girl who has never loved anyone (not even her parents or herself), who has never - in fact- felt any real emotion besides anger and annoyance, discovers that the world is beautiful. That she can be happy, whole, and passionate. That she can make beautiful things, love imperfect people, and fight against the wind and grow stronger. It is a story of springtime. The stirring, unquenchable warmth of the world. The fight of small living things to survive and be beautiful, even in a world that is sometimes ugly and tangled.
It has one of the loveliest quotes of all literature (actually, it has many breathtakingly beautiful words and quotes between its covers, and will make you crave "a bit of earth"):
"Of course, there must be lots of Magic in the world," he said wisely one day, "but people don't know what it is like or how to make it. Perhaps the beginning is just to say nice things until you make them happen."

And one of the best reminders that I give myself (on a very constant basis, often every day and sometimes more often) is the quote from this book: "Where you tend a rose my lad, a thistle cannot grow." 
I find it to be an extremely versatile bit of advice. It helps remind me to read the scriptures, to be patient with my children, to keep my home tidy. 
Because if my home is tidy, it is not messy. If I am being patient, I am not being harsh, snappy, or rude. If I am reading my scriptures and making room for the spirit of God in my heart and home, there won't be room for anything else. 
Because if you make a effort to keep something beautiful and wholesome, there is no room there for something ugly. 


Charlotte's Web:
I actually wrote an entire blogpost on this book, which also dwells a lot on sensitivity, embracing emotion, and children's books. I recommend it, because it was one of my favorite posts. But it was quite recent so you probably read it.
Here is a quote from that post, however, and spoiler alert, I am currently quite obsessed with E.B. White.  There will be an entire blogpost on him soon:


At the end of the book, (in case you don't remember) Charlotte's children are born (they are spiders) and one by one, they catch their little silk balloons on the wind and drift off to make their webs in the world. Wilbur is frantic. He has lost their mother, his best friend, so recently and can't bear to lose them too.
"Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye," the spiders all whisper, one after another as a warm wind carries them from the barn....
It was just so beautiful. I was overwhelmed by the life, the death, the perfectness of the novel, the sweetness of that little spider who stays and names herself Joy, because of the joy Wilbur feels for her. How Fern grows up and leaves the barn, and other "childish" things, and how next spring, and the spring after that, and every spring forever there will be new lambs and squeaking goslings.




Winnie the Pooh:
I recently read a book called "The Tao of Pooh," (which someone has borrowed and must return to me!) in it, it explains that Pooh is the master of a happy life. He delights in the simple pleasures of the world, friendship, food, snowfalls, a good poem- and is quick to be profound accidentally.
How do you spell LOVE? "You don't spell it Piglet, you feel it."
And Pooh is happy. Isn't that what we're all searching for in life?
Maybe ignorance is bliss and naivety is sheltered, but sometimes I think we are too informed and too exposed, which makes doing the right thing seem so much harder, or even like it isn't the right thing at all.
One lovely thing about the Winnie the Pooh books (go buy these for your kids asap) is that they're written very much like life itself. There is no defining moment. Many of the short stories are unrelated to each other. There aren't even conflicts in some! One reading it (especially a Mom with little boys of her own) sometimes feels that A.A. Milne was able to capture a few stories of the adventures of Pooh and his friends, because his son Christopher Robin was, for a time, among them. But Christopher grew up and left (as all children must), and the adventures continued without him. Other boys may find their way into the hundred acre wood for a season of their childhood, and delightfully find that the friends there are still willing to put on great searches for bugs with them, dig Very Deep Pits, and sometimes rest under the trees and discuss life and breakfast.
The forest will always be there, and anybody who is Friendly with Bears can find it.



I am sorry that I am not writing about the other books, especially the only two adult books that I mentioned. The reason is this: even though I love those books tremenjously (as Christopher Robin would say), I do not quite love them like I love my children's books. I have not read them already this year (yeah man. I know it's only March), and I did not read them several times last year, so I just can't give them the post they deserve. If you have not read East of Eden (because I assume everyone has read To Kill a Mockingbird) GO GET THAT BOOK. Especially if you don't want to read a book for little kids. I know that book is huge. It is. But you can do it. That book is so crazy good. And there are a set of twin boys in it, and the way they are raised and grow up will make you twin-mamas weep and cry, and clutch your babies closer. That is all.

I promised a post on children's books a few months ago, and I put it off. Here's why: there are probably a hundred books on my list, and I would feel the need to write excessive paragraphs (like the ones above) about each of them. That is too much.
That is more than anyone ever wants to read. Including me.

I anxiously await your comments on this post, which hopefully NOT say things like, "I tried to read Peter Pan and gave up because it's boring." I will cry myself to sleep for you.
Maybe your comments will say, "Here's another perfect book for you to read," or perhaps, "This is the reason that East of Eden is perfect," maybe even, "I disagree with you, and think The Great Gatsby should be added to that list."
Those comments will be my favorite. But please, leave whatever comment you desire. :)



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Thursday, March 28, 2013

An Heritage










Another, because I can't help it, and to illustrate how well he confuses and gets me off-topic:

*Lying in bed after having recently reread "The Family: A Proclamation to the World."

Becky: Travis, "Children are an heritage to the Lord."
Travis: Mmm-hmm. Yes.
Becky: And God's children have been asked to "Multiply and Replenish the Earth..."
Travis: We did multiply.
Becky: Yeah, but only by two.
Travis: We multiplied by one.
Becky: No. Two multiplied by one is two.
Travis: Exactly. And we have two kids.
Becky: No. We multiplied by two- so now there are four of us.
Travis: So we're both right.
Becky: No. What you're describing isn't just multiplying, it's also addition. Because you're multiplying two by one, but then adding it to the original two. But the two that you multiplied is the original two. That's too confusing.
Travis: I think you're bad at math.
Becky: I think we should multiply by... um, addition. By one.

Lest you think that Travis is a Tina Fey style BossyPants who stomps around being in charge of my uterus, let me assure you that this is just a lighthearted, ongoing conversation about our readiness to have kids - on which I am on the pro-side, and Travis is on the con-side.
We have a similar almost-daily discussion about our readiness for Travis to own a motorcycle, in which our roles are reversed. And in which he makes some very convincing arguments. Like this:

Travis: Becky, did you know that the Royal Enfield Motorcycle, the one I want, is the same motorcycle that Hagrid drives in the movies?
Becky: What! That's awes - I mean, so dumb. Who cares?
Travis: Just think! We could get the same motorcycle as Sirius Black. We could get you a little sidecar to ride in, just like Harry rides in when he's escaping from Privet Drive and Voldemort!
Becky: FINE.
Travis: And this particular model -
Becky: I SAID FINE. Get it! I want the sidecar to be carseat-ready, though!

Sigh. He really knows my weak spots. Harry Potter and Math.
Luckily, I know he said that Grey and Micah are his, (quote:) "best friends."
So. Who doesn't want more friends?




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Wednesday, March 27, 2013

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday


Get ready for So Many Pictures, You Wouldn't Believe It!
That is a confusing sentence.

But the sunshine and happy weather has made my photographer-heart sing, and I've been taking about a million pictures a day around here. And you folks get to reap some of the happy rewards. You're welcome, world.

First, beautiful Grey eating a watermelon:

How about Micah pretending to "go ni-night" for me, so I could try to take pictures of them "sleeping."

Now, "camping" in our backyard:



 I think Grey is sometimes sad that my hair is too short to play with. Luckily, he has Elizabeth.



Seriously, this little cutie is the boys' best friend. We literally spend all day, every day with them.





 This is 10 minutes after Micah violently threw up a hotdog. I was denying him a second hotdog and HE WAS MAD he needed to bust into this ketchup himself. He also calls ketchup, "hotdog" and begs for it on all his food. He's currently sitting on my lap, pointing back and forth between these pictures saying, "Hotdog. Micah, eyes."
Yeah, man. Those are quite the eyes you have.

How about pictures of a chilly walk to the park?





How about Travis longboarding down a hill with all of our children?

 


And last, but certainly not least-adorable: Pictures of my kids in the big-boy undies they love to pee in: 


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Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Conversations

Some conversations as of late:

Travis: Should I just keep growing my hair until it's long?
Becky: No.
Travis: No?
Becky: No, thank you.
Travis: Why?!
Becky: Because of the way it would look...And the way it would look is dumb.
Travis: Yeah, that's true. Okay.

*Even though it's crazy and our kids are crazy, and did I mention CRAZY? I've been feeling pretty baby-hungry lately. I constantly try to subtly convince Travis it's time for another. Like below.**

Becky: Oftentimes, I want to do things just for the pictures. But it ends up being worth it.

Travis: Like what?
Becky: Um, like cloth diapers. I wanted them because they're so cute, but they turned out to be awesome otherwise. We saved money and the environment. Or like, going on hikes in the fall. I just wanted fall family pictures, but it was a fun activity.
Travis: Yeah, okay. That makes sense. I decided I do a film about ice climbing because I thought the footage would be sweet, but it turns out that it's crazy cool and fun to ice climb, and now I want to go all the time!
Becky: Exactly! So all these pictures of my friends' newborns cuddling with their older toddlers makes me want to have a cute baby to take pictures of. Sweet pictures of the boys and their new baby!
Travis: That probably would be pretty cute...
Becky: And it would totally be worth it. In fact, afterward I bet you'd be like, "The pictures are so cute, but I love this baby in its own right! It was totally worth it!"
Travis: I suspect that's true, but...

Travis: My feet are cold. ARGH! What is that? Bark? Off a tree?!

Becky: No! Those are my feet, I was trying to help warm you up!
Travis: Don't! I'd rather be cold! Why do your feet feel like that? You're a monster!

Becky: Grey, did you pee on the floor?
Grey: Yes!
Becky: Are you supposed to pee on the floor or IN THE POTTY?
Grey: Floor?
Becky: NO. You're supposed to pee... in the... 
Grey: Undies.
Becky: POTTY. You should pee in the potty! In the toilet!
Grey: Hmmm.
Becky: Should you pee in the potty?
Grey: NO!
Becky: YES. IN THE POTTY. NOT IN YOUR UNDIES. DO NOT PEE IN YOUR UNDIES. Should you pee in your undies?
Grey: Yes?

Travis: Um. Have you shaved recently?

Becky: Not VERY recently, why?
Travis: No reason.
Becky: Why? You can feel the hair on my legs or something?
Travis: Well, yes.
Becky: It can't be that bad!
Travis: They feel like bear legs. Or.... Sheep legs. They're all rough and fuzzy and-
Becky: Wait, this? This is what you feel?
Travis: Yes! Gross, stop!
Becky: I'M WEARING WOOL SOCKS. Those are socks! Not my legs! 
Travis: Oh. I guess that makes sense.
Becky: You thought my feel were covered in wooly hobbit hair?
Travis: I did. I wasn't even surprised. Just grossed out.

Mom: Your Dad was like, "Hallelujah! Jack is normal!"
Me: Haha, were you worried about that?
Mom: No, we just thought he was like you, you know. 


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Monday, March 25, 2013

Photo a Day - March 17 - 23

Blerg. What a week. I think we began with sick boys, and ended with sick grownups, and we have very few days of happy health in-between. In my sick-bed this weekend, I was bloghopping and discovered a project where Moms tried to take a portrait of their child every week. I kind of do that anyway, but I love the idea of having a specific photo that I'm looking for every week. I'm going to try to include a "portrait" of each of my children every week. Whether it's a picture of Grey with an umbrella or Micah snuggling in my bed. I'm letting the word portrait be big and vague.
One beautiful photo of each of my kids every week. Yes. I will do that. 


Sun March 17- With a housefull of sick people, we decided the fastest, blandest meal was probably scrambled eggs. But I decided to mix it up, and make a frittata instead. // Mon March 18: Snuggling with Daddy.

Tues March 19: Fingerpainted by Micah. // Wed March 20: Grey. Tut tut, it looks like rain. 

Thurs March 21: Micah, my heart. 

Fri March 22: A cold weather walk. // Sat March 23: We're not really potty-training yet (although we're planning on doing the 3-Day thingy the weekend after Easter), but man! Micah looks pretty darn cute in big boy undies.
(Okay, about the Potty-Training in 3 Days - that seems like nonsense to me, but every one with twins really recommends it! I think that the faster you can get your TWO toddlers on the toilet, the better, even if it's silly, hectic, or not completely effective! At least by the end of one weekend the boys will both understand the point of potty-training. We're doing it over "Conference Weekend," because we don't have normal church, so we can hypothetically stay home all weekend. Wish us luck and leave us tips!)

Remember how there's usually a little button here, asking you to vote for our blog? Well, I figured out how to make it all fancy, so it's actually a picture of the boys! It still links you to Top Baby Blogs, so feel free to click below and vote for Baby Making by Becky.

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Friday, March 22, 2013

How to Have Boys

**Travis insists that I add a disclaimer. Something that says, "This is the way I've decided to handle the mess and chaos that is sometimes boys, though there are many different ways to parent, and none are better than each other." But I will not say that. Because we're all grown ups here. If you read this, then you understand it's my opinion, and if you have a different opinion than me - why would that offend me? Just as I assume that YOU won't be offended by my decision to let my boys be messy and hyper. There you go. Read on, friends.**


Before my boys were born, and even when they were babies - I was pretty against the saying "Boys will be boys," because it seemed to imply that my children would be unruly. They would be messy, they would roughhouse, they would refuse to hold still, but ah me, what can be done?

Nothing. Boys will be boys.

But soon I had toddlers. And while the little girls that surrounded us were holding still in church, and picking flowers in the park, and wrapping their stuffed kittens in washcloths and rocking them to sleep...
my boys were being boys.
They were thrashing and punching and screaming during church. They were alternating between eating woodchips at the park, and throwing woodchips at passing children. They were digging a hole in the front yard and pouring water into it, so they had a perpetual mud pit.
And it didn't matter how many times I spread a blanket in the front yard and read "The House on Pooh Corner" aloud.
It didn't matter how many babies and stuffed puppies I bought them. They weren't interested. They wanted cars, balls, bikes, shovels, and hammers.
They wanted boy toys.
And they wanted to be unruly, messy, roughhousing wigglers.


It occurred to me, that this wasn't a flaw of my children. It isn't something that I must correct through careful, quiet training or ADHD medicine or whatever else. It is just who my boys are.
They are boys. And boys will be boys.

(I feel silly that I must say, though it is hopefully obvious to everyone, that not all boys are like this, and certainly lots of girls are this way. But it seems to me, that the extra wiggling, interest in bugs, and love of a good mess tend to be more boyish traits than girlish. And that certainly has been the case with my boys so far. Okay, moving on.)


And so, a few days ago a friend wrote a blog post on all the things that she does to help foster her daughter's intelligence and creativity (things like, Reading Quality Books, and Doing Arts and Crafts) and it's an awesome post and you should read it {HERE}, and I agree with pretty much everything written.

But I am also a parenting expert (ha!), so here are some things that I think little kids need (and boys in particular), which somehow Moms forget about or are afraid of - because being quiet and clean is so much easier and nicer. 

1. Get dirty.
If you get out paint and your child decides (like mine inevitably do) to paint their bodies, their brother, or ignore the painting in general, and just spend 15 minutes pouring all the paints together: LET THEM.
Who cares? If they have slightly green skin for two days, that's just fine.
If they want to spend all afternoon digging a disgusting hole in your yard: let them. My brother Jack used to dig holes all day, until our back yard looked like the crater-y surface of the moon. You don't need to convince them to take a break, take a bath, or ask them if they're digging to China. Just let them dig.
If your kids want to help you cook, but you know it means that you'll get flour all over the floor or red-sauce all over their clothes, let them help anyway. Invest in some Spray and Wash and then stop sweating the little things.


2. Be unruly (sometimes).
I'm a firm believer in teaching and disciplining children, especially when it comes to teaching kindness or honesty. But who decided that blowing bubbles in their milk is naughty or bad mannered?  Who said that the proper way to eat is with silverware?
Why must they comb their hair? Do their toys really needed to be sorted by type?
There is a time and place for everything, and certainly their hair should be combed before church and they should be to use silverware at other people's house, but come on, Moms. Let them eat fruit where it can drip down their chins. Let them go shirtless. Let them go barefooted to the store.


3. Let them explore, without YOU.
I once read a quote that said, "You can't babyproof the world, so worldproof your baby."
I love that. Don't hover around your eight-month old fishing everything out of their mouth. If they eat a few handfuls of salty-ocean sand, they'll just poop it on out.
And as they get older, that list changes. Let your two year old play in the yard while you're in the house, if you can see them from the window (or even just hear them) - they're probably fine. They'll learn to solve some of their own problems and entertain themselves. They don't need you to teach them how to go down a slide. Sit your butt down on the bench and let them climb up themselves. If they fall... they fall.
Maybe you disagree. It's true that we have already been to the emergency room twice, and Grey has pulled his arm out of the socket twice. Maybe that's not worth the risk to you, but I love seeing my kids explore and experience the world on their own - and I am positive that it's made them more capable, courageous, and independent.





4.  Let them tackle. 
This is not a scientific post or blog, so I won't quote studies at you: but it has been shown that tackling, wrestling, and roughhousing is good for boys. It helps them express and identify affection. My kids love a good chest bump, they regularly "rev up" down the hall, and come at us running - knocking us down with delight. They can't even pass each other in the hallway without slapping each other on the back. You don't need to scold your boys for knocking each other down, just teach them to be gentler and only tackle those who want to be tackled. Grey loves to come up behind those who are sitting and slam his body into them. Over and over. Every few times, he peeks over our shoulder, makes eye contact and smiles. It's like he's checking, "This is okay, right? I'm not hurting you?"
And if you smile back, then Bam. Bam. Body slam.



5. Don't teach them to be afraid. 
I am afraid of bugs. Not extensively, but I certainly don't want to squish them with my bare hands, and if a bee - even a friendly, fuzzy bumblebee gets in my house, I go into PANIC MODE.
But my kids are not afraid of bugs. They are not afraid of the dark. They, generally, aren't afraid of anything. They get surprised or worried, of course, and I'm sure that eventually they will be afraid of things.
But I try very hard not to ask them to be afraid. You know what I mean, saying things like "Ooh, it's dark! Are you scared?" (Even in a silly voice) because then they start to think that they should be afraid of the dark. I steel myself whenever we see bugs. I don't run away. If my kids pick up a beetle, I say, "Oh, wow! That's a beetle, be very gentle" and if they hand him to me, I take it. I set him on the ground, and I let myself get the heebie-jeebies inside only, or later when I tell Travis the story.
But I certainly don't tell my kids that I am afraid or that they should be. They can have their own neuroses they don't need mine.


6. Make them work, even if they're little. 
My kids help with dinner almost every night. They sweep the kitchen. They help make beds. They pick up their toys.
 But actually, they're the worst ever at those things. Half the time, when sweeping, they actually fling crumbs across the room. They put their toys in the wrong places. They dump a quarter cup of salt into my sauce, that I have to try to carefully spoon out. But I'm teaching them, and someday I will say to Grey "You're in charge of dinner tonight," and he will know how to make dinner.
As it is, he pretty much made muffins the other week. (Okay, So he just dumped the ingredients in, cracked the eggs, did the stirring, and helped pour it into the muffin tin. But that's pretty good for a two-year old.)


7. Don't make them hold still. 
If they want to eat a bite of dinner every time they run once around the table, just let them. If they want to run screaming to the end of the block, don't make them hold your hand and walk.
If they scream when you're strapping them into their stroller at the zoo, then just let them walk. If they have an exhausted meltdown later and need to be carried, then go get the stroller - or even better, teach them that their choices have consequences and make them keep walking.  (I am a total hypocrite, and usually end up carrying my kids through the second half of the zoo. But for real, every time I see a child that's clearly over three, riding in a stroller - I assume they're disabled. Why else would a mom put her preschooler in a stroller??)

If your kids build an obstacle course where they climb over the couch and under a chair over and over again, don't make them stop. They are wigglers. Let them wiggle.
Again, there are times and places to hold still, but it seems like boys are forced to sit in the car, in school, in church, at restaurants, so every time that your boy is at home and can spin in a circle with his arms outstretched, just let him.

8. Love on your boy. 
We all have different love-languages, as I think almost everyone knows. And I am not an expert and have no idea if this is real or not, but it sure seems like boys and men thing touch is a lot more important than almost every thing else. The same way that sex makes your husband feel better, even though you'd rather be told that you're beautiful, or get flowers, or have someone else do the dishes for once - little boys want your love through snuggles, hugs, kisses, and back-scratching. When my boys are sick, they don't want to read a book, they don't want a treat (although they wouldn't say no), they just want mom. They want to cuddle, and snuggle, and hug. They want me to lay them across my lap and rub their back. Not all boys are snugglers, but I think it's much more common for boys to be snugglers, huggers, and kissers than for little girls to be.
So take advantage of that while they're little. And get all the messy-faced smooches that you can, before they decide it isn't cool to cuddle with their mama. (Not all boys do outgrow it. My brother Jack is almost 16, and DANG! That boy is a serious cuddler, snuggler, hugger. He'd rather sit on a chair with you than on his own chair- and whenever we're in town, he spends half his time with his arms draped over my shoulders slouching behind me as I move around.  And I hope my boys stay that way, too. I love a good-hugging boy.)


And so my house is always messy. I have mud tracked on my floors every day. My children look ill-kept, possibly insane, and sometimes like they fell down a flight of stairs - which they have done. (Like in the photos below.) They are both excessively (worrisomely) brave when climbing up ladders and ridiculously obsessed with me kissing all their owies. They eat their food like they're starving cave-men, and are much too aggressive when stirring food on the stovetop. But, ah me, what can be done?
They are little boys after all, and I like it. 



 I wanted to make this list have an even 10, but I ran out at 8. What other things would you add to the list? I'd especially love to hear from Moms whose boys are older than mine! I only have two years of experience, after all. :)


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