Monday, February 29, 2016
Five years feels like I'm being slapped back to reality.
These are not babies. These are KINDERGARTENERS.
And what funny Kindergarteners they are.
Grey: Have you ever seen a man with a bum rocket?
(This conversation ended with Micah in tears.)
Micah: Don't you like me?
Grey: I love you and I care about you, but sometimes I don't like you that much.
Micah: But you're my best friend.
Grey: No. I'm your brother.
Me: Why don't you guys build with Legos or blocks while I read Robin Hood to you?
Grey: Read to us WHILE we are building?
Me: Yes, I think it will help you to listen better if your hands have something to do.
Grey: Because we are often wiggly?
Micah: Mom, thank you so much for this delicious lunch. It's my very favorite kind of lunch and just what I was hoping to eat!
Me: You're very welcome, Micah. I like when you're so polite!
Grey: Mom, you look even beautifuler than ever.
Me: Thank you so much, Grey! Travis, are you taking notes here?
Travis: Yes, you're very beautiful and great at making lunch.
Me: I just wish that you used more hyperboles in your praise of me.
Grey: What's a hyperbole, Micah?
Micah: What now? Me? I don't know. Mom?
Me: Hmm, a hyperbole is when you say something too big to be really true. So if you say "I'm the saddest boy in the whole world!" what you mean is, "I'm very sad." But you're probably not the saddest boy in the world. Or if you say you're starving, you really mean that you're very hungry. Or when you say "You're the most beautiful mom in the world," what you mean is, I am very beautiful- but I'm probably not the most beautiful mom in the whole world.
Micah: YES YOU ARE!
Grey: I love you hyperbole!
Micah: You're beautiful hyperbole!
Grey: The handsomest one in this movie is Luke.
Me: No way! Han Solo is SO handsome. That's why he got to marry Leia.
Grey: What? So he doesn't even have to comb his hair on Sundays?
Grey: Why are you wearing that?
Me: Oh, I think it's pretty. What do you think?
Grey: I think it's a little pretty, and a little silly.
Micah: I want to wear my Batman shoes to church.
Grey: No, Batman is a super hero, but church isn't about super heroes. It's about Christ. Maybe you should find some Christ shoes. Because we are men. And this is what men do.
Micah: A stone fell on a girl while she was swimming.
Grey: But she isn't dead, she's in hypersleep.
Me: A coma?
Grey: That's when you're asleep and can't wake up? Yes.
Grey: What does "glorious" mean?
Travis: Beautiful and worthy of praise.
Grey: So our mother is glorious!
Grey: I think the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe is a true story.
Me: Oh really, why's that?
Grey: Well, Hilda and Werner are from Germany- so I know that Germany is a real place. And England is a real place, because you went there.
Me: Okay, Germany and England aren't in question- Narnia is.
Grey: Well, I also know lions are real.
Me: Oh, look! Is that a sandbox? Let's go check that out.
Grey: No! Don't go over there. You can't breathe in there, it's full of poisonous gas!
Grey: Did you know she's my sister?
Grey: Nevermind! I wasn't speaking to you!
Travis: I know what you're thinking, we've been married long enough.
Micah: No, you don't Dad. I do. And what she's thinking about now is Harry Potter.
Micah: I ate my whole dinner! Can I have a treat?
Travis: Sure, we have ice cream, do you want that?
Micah: Hmm. Maybe just a piece of ham.
Me: Honey, did you start the dryer?
Me: You didn't switch the load from the washing machine? The dryer is going.
Travis: It wasn't me.
Grey: Oh, I did that. I switched it.
(And he had also correctly started a new load of laundry! I really believe that laziness on my part is teaching them so much! When they want something thats dirty- they don't want to wait for me to get around to laundry!)
Grey: I think August is drunken. With milk. Not alcohol, because we don't have any! Because it's not healthy for your body. Alcohol makes you stupid and tired.
Micah: Uh oh! I think Mom is addicted to the alcohol! Ha! No! Not really.
(Despite the fact that we've never had alcohol in our home- the boys know what it is because of all our reading! Robin Hood often tricks people by getting them drunk and then robbing them blind... I never realize quite how much my kids take in until they say things like this!)
Micah: Mom, this is DELICIOUS! This fills my heart with the love of cake forever!