Monday, February 7, 2011
I know that I am pregnant.
I know that someday I will have children.
However, the two don't always seem connected. Some days I feel like I will just get progressively more pregnant forever. Some days I think, soon I won't be pregnant and my body will be mine and everything can go back to normal.
And I know that neither of those perceptions is correct, but I can't shake them.
I know I'm having twins. We call them by two separate names. I can sometimes tell them apart on ultrasounds.
I know who has the hiccups when and who kicks like crazy when I take a bath.
And yet I find myself saying "When this baby is born," or "After I have the baby," and then I have to think "babies, babies with an ies because there are two."
We built the crib this weekend and finally organized and folded all the clothes from the shower (yes, they only lay on a pile on my floor for a week!) and suddenly, perhaps for the first time I realized that there was a baby coming. I mean babies... babies with an ies.
I just stood and stared at that crib and thought "This is where they'll sleep. This is the home we're bringing them back to."
It came quickly and it left quickly, but for an entire moment I knew that there really would be a baby here.
Babies, I mean.
I actually have yet to realize that one. Babies. There are two.
But we have a crib.
And suddenly everything seems a little bit more real.
Maybe if we had two cribs I could remember that I'm having two different babies....
And soon, when the nursery is actually done, you will get to see pretty pictures of it.
p.s. See that stuffed dog? He was Travis' when Travis was a little kid.