Today is my parents' 25th anniversary.
When I was a kid, I knew that I lived in a happy, comfortable, safe house- but I didn't realize how rare that is. I guess, if anything, I was glad that my parents weren't divorced. As I got older, I grew more grateful for the fact that I heard my parents say "I love you," every day- not just to me, but each other.
My parents spent the first 18 years of my life (and all the years since, I just haven't been there,) being daily examples of how to be happily married. Travis was lucky to also have very happily married parents, who celebrated their 31st anniversary yesterday. When we got married, there was no difficulty for either of us to adjust. We knew what happy marriages looked like and how spouses ought to act.
It's so strange to me to have friends, our age, married as long as us- getting divorces. Even with children and no animosity between! Just casually deciding they are ready to "move on."
When Travis and I were engaged, my dad gave me a piece of marriage advice that I think will make every marriage a successful one, even though it's so silly and obvious.
He said, "The tip to a happy marriage is to find your soul mate, fall madly in love, and then stay that way forever."
How easy it is to fall in love, and how easy it is to fall out of it.
But don't.
Don't let yourself fall out of love. Just stay madly in love forever.
And then you will be as adorably happy and married as my parents, and as Travis' parents.
How grateful I am that our parents loved each other as much as they loved their children! (In fact, probably more.)
They created homes of peace, places of security and taught their children the apparently hard-found secrets of happiness in marriage.
I can only hope that in 25 and 30 years, Travis and I will be celebrating our own long years of happy honeymoon-style bliss.
I love you, parents. Congrats and happy anniversary!
3 comments:
The best thing I ever learned from your parents is when you told me that you never heard one complain about the other. I loved that so much. It was definitely NOT something I grew up with. But it is absolutely something that Vera will grow up with.
Love is good.
As the product of a thrice divorced mother I can assure you that what you have grown up with is an absolute gift. Doug's folks have been married for 34 years and I owe a great deal of our functioning as a married couple to the way his parents inadvertently taught him to participate in a marriage. I think I bring "what not to do" to the marriage and between the two of our backgrounds, we cling to each other and what we've built over the years.
Congrats to your parents (and Trav's)!
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