Recently you left a comment on my blog post, Sometimes Blogging is Hard. I wanted to write you an email, but since you left no return address... I have to use the only forum available to me which you could potentially read.
Also, I think it will be good for others to read this blog post -so maybe they can get a better feel for who I am, and why I blog.
Your comment said this:
"I really like you, who you are, as a person, but I think that you are not the same person who writes this blog. Often you seem so arrogant and self-satisfied. I reckon everyone could use a bit more tact -even if it is YOUR blog. If you wanted it to be a place where you said whatever the hell you wanted, you wouldn't be trying to make this blog popular. Truth is, you want readers and you want a well-known blog. All writers know that they have an audience. You should come to terms with that or make a private thought journal. You have an audience so write for them. For every person who thinks you are "hilarious" there are probably 10 more people who think "this was weird. Why does she think she's so awesome? Everyone has difficult times, that doesn't make her a martyr." You are a good person, you can be funny, people do love you. Practice a little self-control."
I would like to address every single part of this comment individually. Piece by tedious piece.
You said, "I really like you, who you are, as a person, but I think that you are not the same person who writes this blog."
Okay, first. Do I know you? If so, then why is this comment anonymous? I've been trying to figure out who this could be all week! I keep calling and accusing people of being this commenter.
Secondly, you are wrong. I am exactly the same person in real life as I am on the blog.
Allow me to offer some proof. If you do know me, then you might also know some of my family, many of whom also commented on that blogpost.
These people have all known me for 22 years. They have known me through every stage of my life. They know what I am like.
I am like this.
Okay. Part two. You said, "Often you seem so arrogant and self-satisfied."
This is a valid point because I am pretty self-satisfied.
I don't know if I would describe myself as arrogant, but that is an okay opinion for you to have of me, if that is what you think. However, in relation to your last sentence, you seem to be saying that I am MORE arrogant and self-satisfied on the blog than in real life.
Which is, again, just not true. I have really good self-esteem. Super good. I think that I am a really fun, likable person. I think that I am good looking and well dressed. I think I am smart and funny.
I also think that there's NOTHING wrong with that and that more women should feel that way about themselves. I was recently talking with a friend and said "I have a hard time understanding women with low self-esteem. I think, if you don't like something about yourself - change it! Or figure out a way to accept it. But maybe that's easy for me to say because I'm smart and pretty and funny."
Kaylie laughed, and I realized that she thought I was joking.
But here's the deal:
I wasn't. Almost all of the women that I know are smart and pretty and funny. They have amazing talents and are kind and likable. I seriously don't understand why they don't see that.
But I don't think it's wrong of me to be "self-satisfied."
Then you said, "I reckon everyone could use a bit more tact -even if it is YOUR blog. If you wanted it to be a place where you said whatever the hell you wanted, you wouldn't be trying to make this blog popular. Truth is, you want readers and you want a well-known blog."
Yes. I agree. In fact, I said that was something I struggle with. I want to write whatever I want, but I also want to be tactful and I don't want to hurt people's feelings.
I DO want a well-known blog, however, I also believe that it is impossible to accomplish that by only saying "nice" things. Nice is blank. Nice is bland. Nice is a word that you use to describe people who do not make an impression on you or mean very much to you. They are inoffensive, sure. But they are also uninteresting.
I would like to be a kind person. But I don't want to be a nice person.
(Also, if I've used the word nice to describe you before, please don't be offended. Sometimes I use it to mean "kind," even though I try not to.)
Then you said, (and this is what really irked me) " All writers know that they have an audience. You should come to terms with that or make a private thought journal. You have an audience so write for them. For every person who thinks you are "hilarious" there are probably 10 more people who think "this was weird. Why does she think she's so awesome?"
Yep. I have an audience. The majority of the people who read my blog are women who I do not know. They have children, or are trying to have children or may someday WANT children. There are lots of women who read this blog because they have twins and want to know how I manage.
Or who can't even imagine having twins, and want to know how I manage. I have over a thousand individual people click on my blog every single day. And most of them are not my mother, or my neighbor or my teacher at church.
They are the people that I am writing for. And if they didn't want to read this blog, then they wouldn't. That is the magical beauty of the internet. No one is forced to spend time on websites they don't care about.
I am not writing this blog specifically for my friends and family, which is why it sometimes is hard for me to have to censor the blog around them.
I got SO MANY emails from women that I didn't know, asking about breast feeding twins, and I kept putting off writing about it on the blog because I knew that some of my family would think it was awkward to read about.
And when I finally wrote about it on the blog, I got (literally) dozens of emails from women about it, in addition to all of the comments that the blogposts got.
And even though you claim that only 1% of the people who read this blog think I'm hilarious, let me give you an actual statistic. On the post you commented on, YOU said that you don't think I'm funny.
And 13 people commented saying I was funny. And another 6 people commented saying that they agreed with me.
I do not want to appeal to everyone in the entire world. I don't need everyone to think that I'm funny.
But I do appeal to some people.
And that is who I want reading my blog, not you and everyone who thinks I'm "weird."
(Note: I AM weird. That's okay to think. But you get my point. If you don't like it here, you can leave.)
You said, "Everyone has difficult times, that doesn't make [you] a martyr."
Did I come off as though I wanted you to think of me as a martyr? My mistake.
Sometimes I complain about things, like lack of sleep, or lack of food, or having to censor my blog, but I don't want anyone to think that I'm looking for their sympathy. Sometimes I just want to scream my head off, "I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN DAYS!"
I'm pretty sure that any mother understands that. (Commenter, are you a mother? I'm leaning towards no.)
I don't think I'm having a harder time than most people, and in fact, I probably have it easier than many, because I have a good husband loves me, and who has a job. I have family and in-laws nearby who take care of me. I have pretty well-behaved (if sleepless) babies. I have a church congregation to bring me food and pray for me. And I have a blog that generates TONS of support for me, and lots of strangers who write me nice emails and send me presents. (Seriously, you readers are awesome.)
And lastly, commenter, you said "You are a good person, you can be funny, people do love you. Practice a little self-control."
First, thank you for admitting that I am a good person who can be funny, and that there are some people who love me. That was generous.
Secondly, that WHOLE blog post that you commented on was about how I practice self-control all the time and it can be frustrating. I seriously end up deleting about half of the blog posts that I write because I'm worried that someone will be upset by it, even if I think that it's harmless.
I would like the people who are needlessly offended by things to practice a little self-control. Stop being offended.
It's a choice.
I, for example, have chosen to be offended by your comment.
But not a lot, because I can take it.
I would like to compare your comment to when a high school girl says to a friend "That dress looks pretty on you, it really flatters your bigger figure."
It seems like a nice thing to say, but everyone knows that you're being mean.
Aaaaanyway. Please comment away.
But fess up.
Who are you?
Seriously. Do I know you?
It's driving me crazy trying to guess who you are.