I especially count while I'm trying to bounce a baby to sleep.
I find myself thinking (about ten times a day) "If he hasn't stopped crying by the time I count to 50, I'm going to lie him down to cry for a few minutes in his bed."
or "He's stopped crying (it's a miracle!) I'm going to hold him until I count to 30 before I try to lie him down."
Then I stand there (usually in our bathroom - it's my go-to place to put the boys to sleep, since it's quiet and dark) thinking "1 (bounce, bounce) 2 (bounce, bounce) 3 (bounce, bounce)..."
I've also started to tell time by counting, as well. For example, if I sing Edelweiss twice through and then count to 100, it's almost exactly 5 minutes.
So sometimes when I'm holding a boy I think "I'm sick of trying to physically restrain you while you head butt me and bicycle kick me at the same time, so I'm going to give you five minutes to go to sleep in my arms and then you're on your own."
And I sing Edelweiss twice, and then count to 100.....
Sometimes I try to count in Spanish or French to distract myself further from the fact that I've been in the bathroom bouncing one baby then the other for 35 minutes, but I usually can barely get to twenty before it morphs into some unknown language.
And I'm going "Benty-un, uhh Benty-two, Benty-tresss"
Ah well, so languages aren't my strong suit.
Anyway. What do you do to keep from losing your mind while you're trying to put babies to bed?
Or are you one of those super-moms whose babies have been trained to just conk out at the mere sight of a bed?
(And speaking of beds, yesterday Micah rolled off our bed. I was completely hysterical. I called 911. But then, once the lady was on the phone, I was like "Actually, I probably don't need paramedics, since my baby's not bleeding or vomiting excessively. So never mind."
Within five minutes Micah was laughing and smiling and cuddling, and I just kept sobbing. It was horrible.
But apparently only for me. Not for him. He was like, "No biggie, Mom.")
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