Friday, July 5, 2013

I Make Art

The need to create and make is deep in my bones and tingling in my fingertips.
I  want to craft beautiful, useful things.
I want to piece and arrange carefully selected fabrics into cozy quilts to keep my loved-ones warm when I am not there to snuggle them.

I want to knit dozens of brightly colored hats and pairs of mittens. Creating memories of myself for my children as I sit in their room into the dark. They fall asleep, watching me as though hypnotized as my fingers work the needles and move the yarn into shapes.

I want to photograph and capture moments, freeze them and keep them - all the details that aren't noticed in the moment. The leaves in my boys hair, buttons missing, eyes twinkling, jelly dripping down arms and muddy toes.
I want to remember how everything was. I want to remember that we were happy, and I want to remember why and despite what.
If I cannot keep my babies forever, I want the next best thing: every moment documented and preserved. Our home through a beautiful lens instead of tired eyes or frustrated exhaustion. So I photograph. I keep the moments close to my heart.

I want to write. Oh, how I love to write.
Even texting this out on my phone, in an email to myself, because the words and thoughts were tumbling through my mind as we drove and I didn't want to lose them.
I want to remember the way I used to bike uphill to campus, basket full of school books, warm from tea and morning snuggles with my new husband.
I want to remember the feeling of calm and wholeness and unity with my babies that (usually) accompanied pregnancy. The way that I couldn't think of anything but the boys, the way that I still can't.
I want to remember the clinging hands, and cries of "Mama" and the giggles and kisses. The way they clumsily catch bugs, and watch for diggers and choo-choos out the window.
I want to remember the peace and security I feel, the confidence I have in my life decisions and my husband. So I write.

So many people praise "Art for art's sake."
I don't believe in that.

I believe in art for my sake. I believe in art that is useful and art that beautiful.
Art that can heal, that can preserve, that can comfort.
When I cook, or even make jam- I think of it as art, even though I use a recipe.
I am creating something. Something whole, beautiful, healing, something that I can share with those I love. That is my art.

My children are my art.
I created them, in the most primal sense- and I worked hard at creating them.
And every day I strive to make them more beautiful, to help them develop and bloom. I may just be wiping noses and feeding them Kix one at a time, but as my friend Bethany recently wrote in a blog post:  These mundane things mean something.
I am cultivating a place of love. I am creating an environment and a home, and helping the spirit of God dwell there. I am teaching my children and helping them to become the men they will grow into.
I am working to create. I am making something beautiful.

*        *        *

I hope that everyone had a lovely day yesterday, wherever you are in the world. I am grateful for the beautiful country that I live in. From the still, deep blue lakes of my childhood home to the strong, hot desert flowers of my current home and everywhere else in America: this gorgeous land is a work of Art, too. 
One of my favorites. 

Mormons believe that this desire that we all have, deep within us, to create -whether we're creating works of art, places of peace, or perfect little babies with ten fingers and ten toes- is inherited from our Father, the great creator. 
To make the world beautiful is a godlike tendency and desire. {This} is one of my favorite talks ever, by (perhaps) my favorite speaker and it addresses that lovely sentiment.

"The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul. No matter our talents, education, backgrounds, or abilities, we each have an inherent wish to create something that did not exist before...

If you are a mother, you participate with God in His work of creation—not only by providing physical bodies for your children but also by teaching and nurturing them...

Discouragement, inadequacy, and weariness will give way to a life of meaning, grace, and fulfillment...

Through the things you create and by your compassionate service, you are a great power for good. You will make the world a better place. Lift up your chin; walk tall. God loves you. We love and admire you."

I highly recommend reading the whole thing, or you can watch the short version here:

Vote For Us @ TopBaby Blogs! The Best Baby Blog Directory


Kristin said...

Perfect. This speaks volumes to my heart. It is all that I ever want, too. Creating makes everything better. It is healing, exciting, makes me feel alive. Thank you for this today.

tammy said...

What a great post. Thanks! It reminds me of things I have ignored but shouldn't. Love. (When are we hanging out again?)

Emily said...

This is beautiful. I think this accurately expresses the feelings I've had in my heart lately but didn't know how to say. Thank you for sharing.

Kristen said...

This is beautiful. Your blog is seriously my favorite.

Also, I just have to tell you, when I first read/glanced at the title of this post I totally thought it said "I make out". Haha. And my initial thought was, wahoo! Go Becky!

MARCIE said...

You have such a beautiful way with words. Thank you for making art and for sharing it with us. Love you!

Jo Schaeffer-Crabb said...

I admire the way you love. This is a beautiful post.

Karissa said...

Thank you so so much for writing this. It is beautiful.