Twice as many funny things today, since I didn't do this last week. Double the fun!
This week, I've been trying to get the boys to pronounce the letters F and V.
Forever, and no matter what, they P instead of F.
I am Punny, I talk on my Pone. They are good at Pinding things and running Past.
And they say B instead of V.
They like to help Bacuum. They are afraid of Bampires and Bolcanoes.
I had them repeat after me. "Fff. Fuh-fuh Fire."
And it always comes out, "Fff. Fuh-fuh PIRE!"
Okay. I don't mind too much. Mostly, it's still adorable.
Yesterday, I was also feeling really grateful that Travis and I don't curse or use swearwords - and if we do (okay. Nobody's perfect, especially me.) it's usually not around our children or frequent enough to be a thing.
Grey dropped some small toys on the ground, and in frustration he began gathering them up and muttering "Dang it, dang it, gosh DARN IT."
The boys are really interested in what inanimate objects are doing when we're away from home. Several times a day, they'll ask "What's our milk doing? What's my sandwich doing? What's my bunkbed doing?"
I usually say, "Nothing," and they ask, "It's just waiting for me at home?"
Grey: I love cookies! I eat them all gone and then I grow bigger!
Grey: Who is the sad boy?
Me: It's Uncle Jack, he has an earache.
Grey: Oh. I can go make him happy!
Micah: It's my turn, Grey!
Grey: My name is Big Boy.
Micah: It's my turn, Big Boy!
Grey: Okay. Thank you.
Grey: Watch me, Grandma Polly!
Me; That's not your grandma Polly.
Grey: Watch me, Grandma Pitcher!
Me: Nope. Her name is...
Grey: Grandma WHAT?!
Me: Grandma Marcie.
Grey: Oh! Watch this, Marcie!
Me: At least I know that if monsters come, you will protect me. Right?
Micah: I WILL protect you! Me and Grey, and Jack and Daddy! We can protect you together!
Micah: M is to Micah, and mountains, monsters, and mommy and Katie and Grandma!
Grey: Why she is at her friends' house?
Me: Katie likes to play with her friends. Don't you like to play with your friends?
Grey: I only like to play with Grandma Polly and Tate, and their toys, and water balls.
Grandma: They don't have a puppy.
Grey: They just have a tiny dog?
Grandma: No, they just have a cat.
Grey: I want a cat at my house, I want to catch one for in my home.
Grey: Hi man! Hi crazy man over there! How did you get over there crazy man?
Micah: Aw man, not again!
Grandma: Hi, Crazy Grey!
Grey: I'm not crazy! I'm Big Boy! You are crazy!
Micah: I'm going to cut you in half!
Me: What?! Why?
Micah: So I can eat up all your pieces!
**Looking at his pretend watch**
Micah: Oh! It's seven o'clock! We better eat our pizza! Quickly!
Me: I think I saw a ghost. Go check in the bathroom and see.
Micah: It's a weird ghost! It's an Uncle Jack Ghost!
**Pointing to an old family picture at my parents' house**
Grey: These are my fathers. Don't take them away. A big storm came and soaked them all, but don't do that.
Me: I would never do that.
Grey: These are my special family. I love them. I talk to them whenever I have ideas.
Micah: Can we go to the beach?
Me: Sorry, no.
Grey: We can pretend to go to the beach?
Grey: Okay, this is all water and this is warm sand.
Micah: Get your feet out of the lake, Mom, it's cold!
Grey: Aha ha ha!
Micah: Are you Old Man Winter?
Grey: No, I'm really nice!
Micah: Why you said "Aha ha ha!" to me like a bad guy? Why?
Grey: I'm just bringing the rain down so you can watch it fall. You can do it with me, Micah.
Micah: Aha ha ha!
Grey: There's a big spider in my room! We better smash it! He will tell him family and him family will come so we better smash it. If any other spiders come, we can smash them all! We will get them with toilet paper and flush the big spiders away!
Micah: Look at my poop! It's impressive.
Grey: I need a lot of pillows, because my body hurts.
Micah: No, Mom. You need to go lay down in your bed and not wake up.
Micah: Where are we?
Grandma: We're in the middle of nowhere.
Micah: We're in the middle of YESwhere!
Micah: At the park, I will push the kids.
Grey: Oh no, Micah! We can't push kids, that would make them feel sad!
**Micah held a cough drop in his palm and licked it.**
Micah: Look! I eating this, like a bear eats honey!
Grey: We have more milk and apple juice and we can drink it all, Micah! We can, Micah! Hurray! MICAH, WE CAN DRINK ALL THE MILK AND APPLE JUICE, MICAH! Micah!
Me: Micah, please respond to your brother.
Grey: We have milk and apple juice to drink ALL, Micah! Hurray!
Micah: That sounds pretty good.
Grey: Hurray, Micah! Hurray!
Micah: I don't HAVE to say hurray, Grey.
Me: What's your favorite part of Frozen?
Micah: When they fight the robots.
Grey: Can we watch a movie?
Katie: Grandma said no.
Grey: Well, I said YES.
Micah: Don't smash me, Mom! Don't smash me!
Micah: Don't trap me, Mom!
Me: I won't trap you.
Micah: Okay. I need you to trap and smash me.
Micah: What do cows eat?
Me: They eat grass.
Micah: Cows can't eat grass! That's too gross!
Me: Do you guys want to stay here with Grandpa and have a boy date while Grandma and Mom have a date?
Micah: Yes! Great! Grey and Micah will go on a date with Grandpa and you can leave!
Grey: What is your date named?
Me: Pedicures. It means they'll paint my toenails.
Grey: Hmm. What's my date called?
Micah: You can pop that balloon for real. Bite it with your teeth.
Me: Please don't pop it.
Grey: I have to. Micah said to to me.
Me: Well, I said not to pop it.
Grey: It will scare Micah?
Me: No, it just means you won't have a balloon anymore.
Grey: Micah, will you be scared if I pop the balloon?
Micah: No, I'm fine. You can pop it!
Grey: Micah said I can do it, Mom, so I can!
Me: What did you do with Grandpa today?
Grey: We went to the dead animal store. [Sportsman's Warehouse?]
Me: Wow, were there lots of animals?
Grey: Dead, Mom. I said DEAD animals.
Me: Yeah, they're cool, huh? Did you see any BIG animals?
Grey: A moose. Lots of Mooses. I wanted to ride one like a bicycle, but I couldn't climb up to it.
Grey; Look! Bees make honey in these flowers and then we take it home and have peanut butter honey sandwiches! Yay!
Grey: Please I need a tissue. My nose is all boogers.
Grey: Where are we?
Micah: I think the middle of nowhere.
Micah: Hold this for me, Doctor Becky.
Micah: Hey Sun. Get out of here! Get up off the floor, don't you know it's icky?
Micah: I have an idea!
Me: What is it?
Micah: I can go to Katie's house, and play with all her toys. Then I will drink my milk all gone and eat all my applesauce and then go to sleep.
Micah: The sun is in my eyes.
Micah: Because. The sun is in my eyes.
Micah: Why you keep saying why to me?
Micah: Aunt Noelle will sit on my lap.
Me: But you'll get squished!
Micah: I love squishings! I do! I love that squishing game.
Me: Dinner time! Please come in and eat.
Micah: We're fine, thanks!
Me: Come in and eat, please.
Grey: No, Mom! We're FINE!
Micah: Hey, Mom. You feeling frustrated?
Micah: I have an idea!
Travis: What's your idea?
Micah: Last night, I totally slept. But I said, "Oooh-whoo-whoo! I sad! I crying!" I said.
Me: So, what's your idea?
Micah: I want to do that again.
Grey: Whobody jumps in the clouds?
Me: I don't know, honey.
Grey: I think we need to ask somebody who knows about clouds.
Me: What do bears eat?
Grey: Pretzels and jelly.
Me: Pretzels and jelly? That sounds delicious!
Grey: I wanna eat some of that, too, please.
Micah: What's my bunkbed doing?
Me: That's not your bunkbed.
Micah: I know! But what's MY bunkbed doing at home?
Me: Nothing. It's just sitting at home waiting for you.
Micah: It's not walking to meet us here?
Me: Your dad is so handsome.
Grey: No. He is funny.
Me: I think he's handsome, too!
Grey: No, Mom. He is so FUNNY only.
Micah: A lot of people go there [the hospital] to make them feel healthy.
Me: That's right, honey!
Micah: Because they got beaten.
Micah: Stop talking! Mom and Grey, please stop talking!
Grey: No! We talking to wechother, because we love wechother!
Me: Can I come snuggle with you?
Micah: No. My bed is too tiny. You need a big Mom bed.
Me: I'm going to come in and lay with you for just a minute.
Micah: Stop. Get out! My bed is too small for you! Uuuuugh, get out! You're so big!
Micah: I'm drawing you. Here's your big head.
Micah: Snuggle us one a time, only. Grey can have the turn now.
Micah: Did you see my puke run down my belly and down this leg and down mine other one leg?
Me: What? Puke?
Micah: At Grandma Pitcher's house, because my belly hurt.
Travis: How does your belly feel now?
Micah: Remember we go to Tabby's and she cuts all our hair?
Me: Yep. Is that what this is a picture of?
Micah: No. This is a picture of you cutting your own hair by yourself at Tabby's house.
Micah: This is Daddy's work?
Me: No. You know what your Dad's work looks like.
Micah: Oh. Is this Santa's house?
Micah: I'm going to build my own movie theater to watch movies, but you guys can't come. Dad have to drive me, so you can come in the car- but then you have to come home together. Does that sound alright?
Micah: A zebra is scratching your baby.
Me: What?! That would scare me.
Grey: You would be so scared if a zebra scratched your belly, and I think you would get hurt.
**Poking me in the breast**
Grey: A queen has these.
Me: Has what?
Grey: Breasts. Like Queen Elsa.
**During Bedtime prayers **
Grey: Thank you Aunt Noelle and Tate. Thank you Aunt Tessa... essa... essa... And salsa. And Noelle again. Thank you for Mommy, and her baby and her belly and her breasts and her arms.
Grandma: You need to be washed up before you eat anything.
Grey: I need to climb in the washing machine?
Micah: Queen Elsa can make freeze snow-water, just like Frozone and Old Man Winter!
Me: What's your horse's name?
Micah: I don't know!
Me: Hmm... Is it Buttercup or Bullseye?
Micah: No! It's Eli!
Me: Oh, Eli is a good name for a horse!
Micah: Eli IS a good name. And Buttercup is a really bad name.
Micah: Make a funny face! Haha, make another funny face! Haha, yeah, Mom! Make a funny face! Oh. Mom. That one is gross.