Sunday, March 6, 2011
And they are wrong.
I suspect having two babies in the NICU is more exhausting than having two babies at home.
Because if I want to hold my babies I have to leave my bed, climb into a wheelchair and be moved to a different floor and wing of the hospital. Then I spend a half hour pumping milk. Then I spend an hour feeding the milk to the babies through a syringe, and holding them skin to skin.
After an hour and a half in the NICU, I get to come back to my bed and eat or sleep for an hour and a half.
Then I go back to the NICU.
It's a trip that I take every three hours, day or or night.
And if I were at home and the babies were in the room next door or could be brought to me then I think that twins wouldn't be so bad or hard as people say.
But I'm worried that I will be discharged on Tuesday and the babies will be here another two weeks (that's how things are looking right now).
And I will still spend all my time in the NICU, but instead of getting to return to a bed every three hours, I will spend my time on the couch in the waiting room, waiting until they say I can hold the boys again.
I am grateful, I suppose, that the boys are in the NICU being cared for and monitored and that they are both healthy and well. I am grateful that, for now, I am only a floor and few hallways away.
But I'm scared.
I want to have the boys home with me.
Or to have them in my room.
Or to be allowed to hold them whenever I want, instead of having to abide by the nurses' schedule.
But at least they get to be snuggled up together.
Aren't they the cutest thing you've ever seen?