Monday, May 9, 2011


Lately I've seen lots of pictures of naked, spooning twins.

It's freaking me out.
These babies look both happy AND highly uncomfortable.

I've never been a huge fan of baby pictures where the baby is totally naked, or baby-mom pictures where everyone is naked (Or, while we're on a roll - maternity pictures where mama is naked freak me out BIG time.)
Don't get me wrong, I love a little baby bootie as much as anyone and clearly I am not opposed to taking pictures of my sons sans clothing... (see header... or most of the pictures on this blog)
but completely naked just seems slightly strange.
For one thing, babies have a hard time staying warm - so making your baby be totally naked seems mean.
For another, I know how much I get peed and pooped on during just a diaper change, so letting a newborn hang out in the nudie seems dangerous.
Then there's the fact that I know I don't want my picture taken naked... and don't want pictures of me as a naked baby lying around...

But mostly what freaks me out are pictures of naked twins snuggled up together. Yes. I understand that they were both naked and snuggled up together in utero.
But then they were born.

Maybe you're thinking I'm a prude, because I'm not into naked baby pics.
Maybe I'm a homophobe because I look at snuggled up naked babies and think "That seems gay"
and maybe I'm overly proud of how my little boys like to sleep back to back or with arms linked... but just aren't that into spooning each other. We tried, to see if they slept better, but all that happens is they headbutt each other and chew on each other and smack each other in the face.
(They're very manly little guys, aren't they?)

I understand that everyone involved is naked (probably) when babies get made. I understand that we are born naked.
I even understand that photographs of naked babies (or whole naked families - yes, I've seen those, too) can be a celebration of the amazing bodies that we have.
Bodies that can make babies.
Babies who are perfect.
Etc. Etc. Etc.

I still don't like it.
And I stole some pictures off of a "Mother's Day" email that was recently forwarded to me.
Because I think they're weird.
And I wanted to talk about them.
But I don't have a source.
Seriously, this last picture looks like the baby is being prepped for a rectal exam.
He is a cute baby in a very uncute picture.

So what do you think? Did you take neked pictures of your babies?
Have I offended you?

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Brittany said...

I completely agree! The closest I've come to naked pictures, is diaper pictures. Even professional diaper pictures are a no no in my book. I just take them myself because cloth diapers are adorable and the girls grow out of their clothes so fast that it's hard to keep up with them! But seriously...naked maternity pictures are the WORST. The absolute worst.

Mrs EyeCanSee said...

Eh, it doesn't offend me. I wouldn't want a full frontal shot...but something about a newborn baby bum is kinda cute.

That said, we didn't have any totally nakey pics for Jamie's newborn pictures. He wasn't fully clothed, usually a diaper/diaper cover. The photographer had the room so toasty warm we were all sweating! Baby of course was quite comfy and cozy.

Lana said...

I have a lot of things against professional baby photos anyway. But other than the mess I have nothing against naked babies or people. They don't need to broadcast it and you don't need to look at it. But maybe my liberal attitude towards nudity comes from the fact that I didn't wear clothes all the time until I was 9 and I think people that are crazy about their little kids modesty are weird. theyre little kids. who the hell cares if their naked?

Amy said...

LOL this post is hilarious and I agree. No neked bum pictures of my son for the world to see. I have bath tub pics where as much is covered as a diaper covers, but anything else I draw the line at.

Natalie said...

Oh my gosh - that last picture is hilarious! I'm more favorable toward clothed/at least diapered pictures.

Mary said...

Don't tease me with pictures of other babies!

MARCIE said...

I think you are taking it much too seriously. They are sweet and totally innocent, which is what makes it ok in my book. That said, I wouldn't over do it. Mary is funny!

stayday said...

I agree it is a little strange for me, we don't have any naked pics of the twins except for their first bath. I don't understand how these babies cooperate, I can't get my two girls to look nice together in any pics, they are either hitting or kicking each other, waking each other up or looking in opposite directions.

Unknown said...

I just feel bad when you see the baby in a contorted position, that is so unnatural, even an infant shouldn't be in that pose. I always think to myself, that cannot be comfortable. Or when you pose the baby to look older or wiser than it really is. It's not a doll, or action figure.

Kristy said...

This really made me laugh! I thought I was the only one creeped out by naked newborn pictures--glad to know I'm not alone! There's just something not right about it. And naked maternity pictures? Forget about it! :)

Amanda said...

No naked pics of my baby boy! He was only 5 pounds when we brought him home (during a cold January) and I was not about to expose the little guy for long. But we have no shortage of pictures, in many of them he is swaddled :)

I especially dislike "posed" baby photos (in a bucket! in a basket! in a handknit cocoon!). They just seem so tasteless!! And tacky. They seem to take away, or cheapen, the innocence of newborns.

My husband took AMAZING birth photos and those are the pictures I love and cherish.

Angela said...

I am not a fan of spooning naked babies, but if a naked baby butt picture is adorable to me! Also, I have friends that are photographers. They usually don't take pics of the baby naked. They usually leave the diaper on the baby and then photoshop the diaper out. :-) Less mess and coldness that way!

I appreciate your opinion on this! More people should share their opinions in a non-judgmental way like you. :-)


Kelley said...

Oh my gosh! I had to hold my post c-section stitches in to laugh!

I think it's cute, but I love your take on it!