Wednesday, January 18, 2017
August is so tired and stressed from being sick and he keeps hitting us and then feeling really guilty about it. I wouldn't let him pour a gallon of milk down the sink (?!?) so he started yelling, "Mean Mommy! I punch you! I punch you, Mommy!" And he hit me. Then with tears streaming down his face, he went and confessed to Travis. "I hit Mommy a lot, Daddy. I hit Mommy." He has also hit Travis and the boys several times, and came and confessed in tears each time.
On Christmas we got so much snow, August spent over an hour crawling in the snow pretending to be a puppy. A week later, he saw a picture of himself sitting on Travis' shoulders from that day in the snow.
"Look Mommy!" he said, "Daddy and a Snow Puppy!"
August has also been very concerned with Louise, and gets very upset when I burp her. ("No hit A-Wheeze, Mama! No hit!") He also likes to keep me informed on what she is doing all the time. "A-Wheeze sleeping! A-Wheeze crying!" And every time she burps, snorts, or spits up (sadly often), he yells in a panic, "A-Wheeze CHOKING,Mama!"
The first time he saw her nursing, he watched for a minute and then asked, "A-Wheeze SO hungry, Mama? So hungry, she eat YOU?"
Grey: Is King Arthur a true story?
Me: I'm not sure. I think many parts of it are true.
Grey: But wizards are extinct in these days, right?
Micah: I don't think August is even cute, I think he just DOES cute things.
Grey: The new star from Jesus' birth isn't new anymore, because Jesus was born a long time ago. Thirty years ago, I think!
Travis: I was born thirty years ago.
Grey: Wow! You must have had a lot of Halloweens.
Grey: My compass says the temperature today is at 80%.
Travis: Tomorrow, if you wake up early-
Micah: We can sneak out and eat a cookie before you wake up.
Grey: I can finish up these dishes for you.
Me: Thanks, honey! You're such a hard worker.
Grey: Well, I AM a Hufflepuff.
Micah: My stomach isn't full of good food- my stomach is full of cheer! It's ready for Christmas!
Micah: I know how Santa travels the whole world in one night! In the North Pole, the sun doesn't rise for months, so one night lasts for weeks and weeks.
Grey: ...and please bless Elanor, that she will marry a good husband when she grows up.
Grey: Please, August. Be calm! Building Lego Castles is a serious matter!
Grey: I want to watch the Christmas Carol again today.
Me: I thought you were scared of it.
Grey: No. I like all the spirits. At first, I thought "Oh no. This is a Dark Power. He is yielding to death." But then I thought- "Oh, they're just silly ghosts. They're helping him learn about Christmas."
Grey: Part of building is taking things apart and putting them back together in a different way. That's my favorite kind of experiment.
Micah: (Holding Louise for the first time) Mom! She farted on me! It was so cute.
Grey: People will see your big belly and ask "Are you still pregnant?" And you can say "No! Surprise! I had my baby!" and show them Louise.
Grey: I think your breasts are full of liquid, because that one looks droopy and huge already.
Grey: Ugh, get up already. Why are you acting like you're still pregnant?
Grey: You always say no to everything.
Me: When you said, "May I please have clam chowder?" I said YES.
Grey: I didn't say that. I would never say that.
Me: If you asked me, "May I please go to bed now?" I will say YES.
Grey: You're the cruelest mother.
Me: Thank you.
Grey: ... I said CRUELEST.
Me: I know.
Grey: That means you're very, VERY bad. The worst and most unkind. Did you know that?
Me: It's not even Lu's fault that I didn't get any sleep last night. I just keep falling asleep while I nursed and then we'd both wake up an hour later and have to finish nursing. Then I'd fall asleep again and have to nurse her again in an hour. Her belly never got filled, since we kept passing out.
Travis: What a tired little girl!
Grey: Dad called you a little girl!
Me: I'm a tired big girl!
Grey: You're a tired marriage-girl.
Me: Today is Christmas Eve!
Grey: Micah already told me. That means tomorrow is Christmas.
Me: And tonight, Santa is coming!
Grey: I never even realized that!
Micah: There was a Santa Claus at the Jazz Game.
Me: Wow, that's cool. Did he look like the real thing?
Micah: I don't think so. He was just a man in a costume. There was no magic about him and he didn't even have spectacles.
Grey: And his sleigh and reindeer weren't there. If he was the real Santa, his sleigh would be there. He was just a human helper.
Micah: This headlamp is from Black Diamond! I wonder how Santa got it.
Grey: I guess there must be a Black Diamond store in the North Pole.
Me: Did you see all the new snow?
Travis: Yes, did you?
Me: I saw it in the night. I could tell there was new snow, because it was shining through the window with the luster of midday.
Travis: What? The LUSTER of mid-day?
Me: It was so bright, I was afraid you'd left the garage light on. So I looked out the window, and it was the moon on the breast of the new fallen snow.
Travis: There was no moon last night.
Me: When what to my wondering eyes should appear-
Travis: Stop it now. Just stop.
Grey: Sooo, now there are six of us. How many people do YOU think should live in this house, Mom?
Travis: I need a brave, adventurous boy to go outside in the deep snow and collect eggs.
Micah: I will do it. To feed my family, I will do whatever it takes!
Grey: I don't want to walk outside, I'm too tired.
Micah: Have a drink of this Cola! It gives you so much hyper-energy!
Me: Please stop being so sassy.
Micah: I'm not sure I AM being sassy. I think you're the one being a little sassy.
August: I want a milk!
Me: You do? Do you LOVE milk?
August: No, Mama! I DRINK milk! I want a milk to drink!
Me: If you wake August up, I'll be so angry- I'll have to beat you up.
Micah: You're not strong enough to beat me up.
Me: You're right, I won't beat you up. I'll just yell at you a little.
Micah: Sounds like you're letting Satan tempt you.
August: I NEED candy, Daddy. I NEED candy. I NEEEEEEED candy.
Travis: You don't need candy, you WANT candy. Let's eat lunch instead.
August: Candy for lunch? Okay! Let's go! Candy for lunch, all right?
(Listening to the Zelda Soundtrack)
Micah: This song is Grandma's favorite, but I don't like it. I don't like sweet songs, I like fighting songs!
Micah: You are ruining my whole life!
Me: What did I do?
Micah: YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND!
Me: Please go downstairs and get the bouncer for me.
Grey: I don't want to go down, it's scary downstairs.
Me: Maybe Micah can go with you.
Micah: Grey, the ocean is scary. You want to explore the ocean, you better get used to scary things. Go down yourself.
Grey: I'll explore the ocean and the basement when I'm 6.
Micah (explaining potty-training to August): It's okay to fart in your pants. It's just stinky. But when you poop or pee in your pants, you need to change your clothes.
Me: Micah, please give Louise her pacifier. She sounds so sad!
Micah: I'm going to let her cry.
Me: That's not very kind!
Micah: Well, it's the only way she knows how to talk. I think maybe she's trying to tell me something.
Micah: Grandma wanted to watch a church movie today, but I explained that on Sundays we usually play video games.
Micah: I want to talk to you privately.
Travis: Okay, its private now.
Micah: No, Grey can hear.
Grey: No, I can't!
Micah: Mom, do you know why rivers live so long?
Me: No, why?
Micah: They always choose the smoothest course. Like a steady, beating drum.
Me: So, did you watch Pocahontas at Grandma's house?
Micah: Just three or four times!
Posted by Becky Pitcher at 4:18 PM
Labels: conversations, family, funny
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