Sometimes I take notes when Travis talks to me,

I suspect it annoys him:


Travis: Get over to your side of the bed!

Becky: NO! It's cold over there with no one to warm me up and chilly sheets!

Travis: Fine, lets go. As soon as I warm this beast up, I'm going back to my side.

Becky: Don't call me a beast.

Travis: My mission: to teach the beast to love.

Becky: Gahhh! *Begins giggling A LOT*

Travis: Day one: the beast is laughing like and idiot and saying "Derf, Derf, Derf."

Becky: Derf!

Travis: Day two: the beast is clearly insane.  I shall teach it, yet!  She has reached moderate intelligence.  *Tries to roll back to his side of the bed, but cannot, because I'm holding his arms.*

Travis: Day 218: the beast is holding me against my will. She has reached mild intelligence -

Becky: You said moderate!

Travis: but she is still dimwitted, so I think I can outsmart her.

Becky: You cannot!

Travis: I'm going to have to 127 hours her.

Becky: Gross

Travis: Hopefully she will not notice me chewing off my own arm. It will be worth it.