Monday, May 18, 2015

The Famn Damily

The last two months have been pretty much some of the worst when it comes to my desire to blog. Obviously. I haven't posted any pictures in ages.
We've been to Goblin Valley camping (in Southern Utah), to my parents by Lake Tahoe in Nevada, to Seattle for a wedding and to the beach house in California and I haven't shared even a bit!
So I'm going to! I promise! I am!
My camera is currently at Travis' office, and it has a small number of photos on it (compared to how long we were gone) and as soon as I get that and upload it and edit ...well, you get the picture. It might be a while.
But I figured, in the mean time- I'd share some cute pictures we got of our family a few weeks ago in MARCH. Sheesh! Time flies!
So it's been awhile since these were taken, but I love them all the same!

Grey, Travis, Micah, Becky, August. (Note to self, in case I can't tell who is who when I'm an old lady.)

We took these pictures when we had a church meeting on Temple Square a few weeks before Easter. I figured, if we are all dressed nice for church and in a beautiful location- we might as well get some pictures, right? Right. I agree, self.

Lately, I came to a realization. I always like to say, my children are like the little girl who had a little curl- right in the middle of her forehead. (And when she was good, she was very, very good and when she was bad she was horrid!)

But it comes in waves.  They are good for a long time. Weeks, in fact. They are kind, they are polite, they say please and I forgive you, and You're the prettiest mom in the whole world!
And then- like a horrible wave of reality crashing over me, they become tiny monsters. They try to beat each other to death with their light sabers, they yell I wish you would die so I could just live with my dad and do whatever I want! and they resist all love, parenting, discipline, and meals.
AND I WANT TO BEAT THEM! (But I don't, because they're children, I love them, etc. Obviously.)

But seriously. Every time it happens I'm completely blindsided. It's like I've forgotten they're ever like this. I mean, are they on their period? How can I survive? Can I give them up for adoption? WHAT IS GOING ON? And I totally panic and call my husband and mom crying, and I look up day care, and announce that my plans for home schooling were a little premature and get these demons out of my house. 
And then, without my even noticing it right away- they are good again. They ask Do you need any help? and Tell me how clouds form and If I die, I'm happy I get to be with you again.
And I melt into a big puddle of "Holy cow, I love you more than anything, you're perfect, and I want twelve kids."

But then I remembered. Their brains aren't fully developed. This is not science, religion, or anything other than a theory- but I think that every once and a while- they forget how the world works. On a regular basis, I look at myself and go, "What's going on? Why am I so crabby/unhappy/stressed out?" and I realize that I haven't been reading my scriptures, finding time to create, indulging in poetry, that I've become addicted to a new game on my phone, or haven't been expressing gratitude to my family. I know how to be happy. And yet, I forget. I forget to choose the good. And so I redirect myself. And things get good again.

I think, in their own small way, my children are doing the same. Every a few weeks, they forget- kindness will get them more than demanding, love gets them more attention than yelling, their brother actually is their best friend. They forget, and then they realign. They test and check, "If I tell my mom she's the meanest mom in the world- does she feel guilty and give me what I want? OR if I tell her I love her, does she love and take care of me and give me what I want?"
Haha, okay- maybe they're just practicing different techniques of manipulation...
But I have to remind myself- if my children aren't the people that I want them to be, sending them away isn't going to make them better. Yelling back at them isn't going to teach them not to yell.
Kindness will out.

And right now, things are pretty good, and they are perfect and sweet and I want one million babies- all homeschooled.

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Mr. and Mrs. Hillarious said...

Three year olds are the toughest stage for me thus far (mine are 7, 5, 3, and 1 all boys). They stop napping, they stop eating and they have attitudes like teenagers. And you have two! It's tough!

MARCIE said...

I love reading this as you are thinking things through yourself. We all need to do that. Otherwise how will we ever grow. I think as women, hormones are our worst enemy tho.